Would you sex with someone else if you were in a relationship?

A forum for respectful discussion & exchange of views on news, current affairs & thought-provoking topics; please read and be aware of the guidelines prior to posting.

Forum rules

Welcome to the News, Current Affairs & Debate subforum.

This forum is the place for intellectual discussions relating to news, current affairs, or philosophical & scientific debates. There are some guidelines that apply specifically to posts in this forum, of which you will be expected to have made yourself aware before participating. They are as follows:

  • Intellectually stimulating topics only. If you can't have a deep discussion about something, it does not belong here.
  • If you're going to post, have something to say. When you make a new thread, write the initial post in a way that provides an introduction to the topic and invites further discussion. You could tell us how you feel and why, but always aim for constructive responses that further a discussion about the ideas involved, rather than a simple list of people's views. (Instead of asking "Are you a vegetarian?", discuss some of the arguments involved.) This guideline likewise applies for responses to topics.
  • Write using good English. That means full sentences with proper capitalisation, punctuation, spelling and grammar. No one is perfect, though; this is not an invitation to criticise others for minor mistakes.
  • Be nice. This is a forum for rational discourse, not flame wars. No one is always right. Be respectful of other people's views and accept that we are all entitled to our own.

These guidelines will be enforced by the moderators based on their best judgement, and anyone who does not take them seriously will lose the privilege of posting here. Spammers will be banned from the entire forum.

Sex outside a relationship:

yasss give me that multiple D
11
19%
no i need a loyal man <3
46
81%
 
Total votes : 57

Would you sex with someone else if you were in a relationship?

Unread postby Jacketh » 23rd July, 2016, 2:41 am

""A new study says non-monogamous couples can actually be closer, even as critics of open relationships argue humans are unable to separate love and sex""

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyl ... ?CMP=fb_gu

"Hugh McIntyre, a 26-year-old music writer, and Toph Allen, a 28-year-old epidemiologist, are in love and have an “amazing” relationship of two and a half years. One of the keys to their success: sleeping with other people.

“We wouldn’t change a thing,” says Allen, who lives in New York City with McIntyre. “We get to fulfill our desire of having sex with other people. We avoid cheating and the resentment that comes in monogamous relationships when you can’t pursue sexual urges.” Their relationship is not unusual among gay men. In 2005, a study found that more than 40% of gay men had an agreement that sex outside the relationship was permissible, while less than 5% of heterosexual and lesbian couples reported the same...."

"Critics of non-monogamous relationships argue that humans are unable to separate love and sex. “Sex is an emotional experience,” says Brian Norton, a psychotherapist who specializes in gay couples and an adjunct professor at Columbia University’s department of counseling and clinical psychology. “There is emotion at play, and even in the most transactional experience someone can get attached,” Norton says."

This seems to be a growing trend in the gay community, I'd like to know others opinion!

Personally, I think loyalty is really, really, important to me. I agree with the view that it is absolutely natural to perhaps be attracted to certain qualities about someone else, or even to have a short-term crush on that person. But, I just could not fathom my partner being with someone else in a sexual way. I think any relationship I have, like most, will be built on an emotional connection, and I do think that emotional connection would be diminished if I felt like my boyfriend needed something else in the sexual department.

That said, I'm very conservative when it comes to sex (and is why I'm still a virgin, I guess), but this is clearly a growing trend and I'd like to see others view on it. :keke:
Image
User avatar
Jacketh
Admin
 
First name: Jack
Posts: 10119
Likes received: 627
Joined: 12th June, 2012, 7:00 pm
Location: London
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Re: Would you sex with someone else if you were in a relationship?

Unread postby Unseasoned Chicken » 23rd July, 2016, 2:46 am

I couldn't let my partner have sex with someone else, I'm completely with you on the loyalty thing. And perhaps I'm a paranoid person but I would always be worried they'd leave me for that other person.
Twink enthusiast

ImageImage

ImageImage
User avatar
Unseasoned Chicken
Is shaking
 
First name: Ethan
Posts: 3994
Likes received: 649
Joined: 4th November, 2015, 3:49 am
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Country: Australia (au)

Re: Would you sex with someone else if you were in a relationship?

Unread postby Thotiana » 23rd July, 2016, 2:59 am

"yasss give me that multiple D" :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I love the poll choices :rofl:

I mean I would vote for that if I can even get multiple Ds :smitten:

Jk, in all honesty, I grow attach to people really easily. I think I would feel really insecure if my partner had sex with someone else :rip:
User avatar
Thotiana
Classy Hoe
 
First name: Steven
Posts: 1494
Likes received: 7
Joined: 14th February, 2016, 4:11 am
Country: United States (us)

Re: Would you sex with someone else if you were in a relationship?

Unread postby Liam » 23rd July, 2016, 3:24 am

I'm far too cheesy and idealistic to have that sort of relationship, I understand the logic for the other side, but it's really not for me. I want to be in a relationship that's devoted, and I feel like for me that would require a monogamous relationship, but thats just me :P
Liam
The Fake Cheesy, Sexual Exhibitionist Canadian
 
First name: Liam
Posts: 1858
Likes received: 38
Joined: 28th November, 2015, 11:38 pm
Location: Minneapolis

Team: The Wild West

Re: Would you sex with someone else if you were in a relationship?

Unread postby Finch » 23rd July, 2016, 4:19 am

Liam wrote:I'm far too cheesy and idealistic to have that sort of relationship, I understand the logic for the other side, but it's really not for me. I want to be in a relationship that's devoted, and I feel like for me that would require a monogamous relationship, but thats just me :P

Yup. Basically this.
I finally found something to put here!

Image
Finch
the mom friend
 
First name: Joseph
Posts: 2102
Likes received: 59
Joined: 29th September, 2014, 1:09 am
Location: Australia
Country: Australia (au)

Re: Would you sex with someone else if you were in a relationship?

Unread postby scottnesss » 23rd July, 2016, 7:04 am

"yasss give me that multiple D" :werd:

For me, a relationship is about more than sex and therefore should not factor into it. I do however, make a distinction between sex and making love. Sex with others means nothing to me and is purely an activity to pass the time, but with a partner I class as being in a relationship with, any sex would be making love.

In short, yasss give me that multiple D
Image Image

Image
User avatar
scottnesss
I feel my User Title no longer defines me; please change xo
 
Posts: 601
Likes received: 105
Joined: 28th August, 2012, 4:14 pm
Location: Scotland
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Re: Would you sex with someone else if you were in a relationship?

Unread postby Circles » 23rd July, 2016, 7:38 am

Sex is not particularly important to me in a relationship. That said, I would under no circumstances engage in sexual activity apart from with the person I'm in a relationship with. I value dedication highly, both my own and a partner's, and think any less would be a failure. I like being entirely invested in a person anyway, this aspect included. It's partially my own moral code, partially to protect my emotions, and partially because I genuinely enjoy monogamy more than not.
ImageImageImageImageoooo
ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage
Image
User avatar
Circles
Twinkerbell
 
First name: Marshall
Posts: 4088
Likes received: 55
Joined: 3rd March, 2013, 5:32 pm
Location: Minnesota.
Country: United States (us)

Re: Would you sex with someone else if you were in a relationship?

Unread postby rxxli » 23rd July, 2016, 8:09 am

I would never go for an agreement like that.

I have trouble trusting people as is. Wondering all the time if my partner had sex with anyone else that night would not help in that department.

I would be loyal to my partner and I would expect the same from him. Sure he can look at someone else, sure he can gt a crush on someone else. I just don't want him to kiss/fuck anyone else.

I often hear advocates saying that relationships where "fucking others" is allowed are more natural because we evolved to have multiple sexual partners. And yeah, sure. Our bodies may be designed to have more sexual partners. But I would also like to think that our mind has evolved enough to suppress those natural instincts and be loyal to a single partner.
User avatar
rxxli
The Defender of Europe
 
First name: Andrej
Posts: 4336
Likes received: 53
Joined: 26th April, 2012, 3:12 pm
Location: Slovenia
Country: Slovenia (si)

Re: Would you sex with someone else if you were in a relationship?

Unread postby Dessy » 23rd July, 2016, 12:48 pm

Only if there was an open relationship arrangement, I'd be cool with it. Loyalty is also important to me but I don't necessarily feel that the guy have to be chained to me all the time. Of course still being in an open relationship I still expect me and him to be the centerpiece.
Image
ImageImage
ImageImage


Image
User avatar
Dessy
Moderator Emeriti
 
First name: Des
Posts: 10305
Likes received: 307
Joined: 16th September, 2013, 2:02 am
Country: United States (us)

Re: Would you sex with someone else if you were in a relationship?

Unread postby Roulé 305 » 23rd July, 2016, 1:22 pm

I have been in non-monogamous agreement with a guy in the past and I did enjoy it at the time, though I probably won't really want to go into that kind of agreement again. Sex doesn't really interest me much anymore and it would be lovely just to spend time with one person I care about. That being said, I'm not desperate for a relationship and I'm just waiting to see if things happen at the moment. Also, my relationships are all assumed strictly monogamous unless my partner and I feel the need to talk about it and agree on otherwise.
Image
User avatar
Roulé 305
formerly TheNerdInABowTie
 
First name: Rory
Posts: 1222
Likes received: 34
Joined: 21st March, 2014, 2:47 pm
Location: UK.

Team: The Wild West

Re: Would you sex with someone else if you were in a relationship?

Unread postby Dr. Spears » 23rd July, 2016, 1:49 pm

I personally believe it is a very dangerous and risky situation to get yourself into with another individual, or should I say individuals. I believe many people still need to understand the concept of a romantic relationship. Individuals speak about what a "healthy" relationship is, but it differs from person to person considerately due to past memories and emotions boiling within that person.

Anyway, I am perfectly happy with my partner. Currently, unless he tries to stab my rectum, then that's just done it!
Image

◕ ◡ ◕
Britney Spears
◕ ◡ ◕
User avatar
Dr. Spears
Uhhh Daddy
 
First name: Jack
Posts: 881
Likes received: 10
Joined: 22nd March, 2016, 8:44 am
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Team: The Far East

Re: Would you sex with someone else if you were in a relationship?

Unread postby DrakoVongola1 » 23rd July, 2016, 11:21 pm

Fuck no, I do not share my toys and I certainly don't share my boys. I'd never be okay with knowing my boyfriend was off fucking someone else without me. I value loyalty, I expect the same from my boyfriend.

Its one thing to find other guys attractive and maybe have fantasies while jacking off alone, I'm not gonna be the thought police and its unreasonable to assume minds won't wander, but if he acted on those fantasies I'd bite his dick off :)

If other people are into it's not really my place to judge, as long everyone involved is cool with it I don't see the big deal, but its definitely not for me.
Image
User avatar
DrakoVongola1
Member
 
Posts: 459
Joined: 13th November, 2012, 7:22 pm
Location: Under your bed
Country: United States (us)

Re: Would you sex with someone else if you were in a relationship?

Unread postby ignorantart » 24th July, 2016, 12:37 am

No.
ignorantart
Resident Architect
 
Posts: 4180
Likes received: 1
Joined: 15th November, 2011, 9:18 pm

Re: Would you sex with someone else if you were in a relationship?

Unread postby Mawd » 24th July, 2016, 3:41 am

Short answer, yes.

Longer answer, it's something we would do together after thinking it over together with someone we both liked.
We both know how conscious we'll need to be over each other's feelings and I don't think either of us see it as something we'd make a habit of.
If there's one night where we're both feeling the right vibes with another guy it could easily happen. We're pretty passive over it though, it's not something we'd fish for.

I actually think one of the most fun parts of my relationship with Ben is that we can talk about how hot we think other men are and who we'd be interested in having sex with.
It's pretty funny too when Ben's telling me all the things he wants that hunky jock over there to do to him and we even have some rare friends that we joke with about how we should have all had sex that time way back and that kind of thing.

Honestly it's this one strange, weird pillar of our relationship that's just amazing.

I guess I'll just quickly couch this with saying that we've been together for about five years(!) now and living together for almost the same amount of time so we're definitely in a different situation to a lot of you guys who're wondering if you'd do it now, in future; and in any case it's just a kinda uncommon thing overall.
Mawd
Appearing to Disappear; Community Ambassador
 
First name: Max
Posts: 7344
Likes received: 111
Joined: 6th March, 2011, 5:37 am
Location: Wellington, New Zealand
Country: New Zealand (nz)

Re: Would you sex with someone else if you were in a relationship?

Unread postby Stripy Tiger » 24th July, 2016, 5:49 am

If he/she was an absolute cock I'd film it to show them.
Stripy Tiger
Member
 
Posts: 522
Likes received: 1
Joined: 8th February, 2016, 10:24 am

Re: Would you sex with someone else if you were in a relationship?

Unread postby George » 24th July, 2016, 2:40 pm

Yes.
Image
Image Hi, I'm George. Never met Me before? Image
User avatar
George
Diaper Rash
 
First name: George
Posts: 1950
Likes received: 124
Joined: 11th December, 2012, 11:56 am
Location: Essex
Country: Belgium (be)

Re: Would you sex with someone else if you were in a relationship?

Unread postby nab21 » 24th July, 2016, 4:50 pm

No. Never.
Popularite Season 4 Champions - Proudly #TeamAdele Team Vice Captain
House Cup 2016 Champions - Vice Captain of Team Middle Earth

ImageImage
User avatar
nab21
Princess Consuela Bananahammock
 
Posts: 1582
Likes received: 23
Joined: 27th June, 2013, 7:47 pm
Location: South Africa
Country: South Africa (za)


 Popularité League Winner

Re: Would you sex with someone else if you were in a relationship?

Unread postby Anonymous Boy » 24th July, 2016, 6:36 pm

Jacketh wrote:Personally, I think loyalty is really, really, important to me. I agree with the view that it is absolutely natural to perhaps be attracted to certain qualities about someone else, or even to have a short-term crush on that person. But, I just could not fathom my partner being with someone else in a sexual way. I think any relationship I have, like most, will be built on an emotional connection, and I do think that emotional connection would be diminished if I felt like my boyfriend needed something else in the sexual department.

This captures how I feel exactly.
Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image
User avatar
Anonymous Boy
Owner/Administrator
 
First name: René
Posts: 16178
Likes received: 248
Joined: 20th December, 2007, 10:42 pm
Location: South Yorkshire
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Re: Would you sex with someone else if you were in a relationship?

Unread postby Dolly » 24th July, 2016, 10:26 pm

Loyalty, trust, and independence would definitely be the most important qualities of a relationship.

I don't think I could ever cheat or be a part of a polyamorous relationship.

I don't care if another guy comments something risqué on a photo nor would I want to snoop around on a phone to check if there's another person. I would want that reciprocated because I would enjoy independence and being able to entirely submit my trust to someone else.
Image
User avatar
Dolly
hotty & country singer
 
Posts: 3117
Likes received: 531
Joined: 19th July, 2015, 11:50 pm
Location: Tennesee
Country: United States (us)

Team: The Wild West

Re: Would you sex with someone else if you were in a relationship?

Unread postby Cobalt » 25th July, 2016, 5:31 am

I'm a ride or die kind of guy. If my man needs action on the side because I'm not enough for him, he doesn't deserve me.

**Also to touch on this because it was mentioned polyamory is MUCH different than just sex outside of a relationship, I'm not knocking poly relationships in any way because I've had friends who've found success and happiness doing something like that, albeit for a short while.
User avatar
Cobalt
Mafia Mom
 
Posts: 20822
Likes received: 135
Joined: 1st August, 2009, 12:20 am
Country: United States (us)

Team: The Far East

Next

Recently active
Users browsing this forum: Anonymous Boy, CommonCrawl [Bot], OliverO'connel, Trendiction [Bot] and 38 guests