Coming out reactions

Discuss sexuality, whether your own or someone else's.

Coming out reactions

Unread postby jack21 » 5th April, 2016, 2:17 pm

Hey again, So i gotta question which has probably been asked many many times before on here - but hey! Lets go again!

When you first came out whoever (Friends, family etc.) how did they react?

Second: Did anything change for you? Did you feel happier with yourself? Did you find it easier to find other guys them knowing your openly gay or Bi?

Just wandering ;) Im considering coming out soon . Im 19 and its about time i grew some.
Things that are worth doing; will take as much time as they need.
-Myself
User avatar
jack21
Member
 
Posts: 488
Joined: 14th August, 2013, 8:40 am
Location: Midlands
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
0 / 7

Re: Coming out reactions

Unread postby Jacketh » 5th April, 2016, 2:29 pm

Parents took it well originally, then started bitching and having a meltdown when I weren't in the room.

Brother said he could tell.

Gran said when she found out "she was already quite aware" (she did discover a memory card full of gay porn before I came out)

Friends were fine, one screamed in my face and dropped her pasta pot when I calmly told her walking out of dinner.

But it 100% made me more confident and self-assured. Even when I came out, I still found it difficult to say the word "gay" itself, or talk about openly. But after being out of a while and seeing others not care, it does have a massive underlying impact.
..
Jacketh
Member
 
Posts: 10386
Likes received: 903
Joined: 12th June, 2012, 7:00 pm
Location: Thai drug lab
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier II
Progress to next tier:
5 / 7

Re: Coming out reactions

Unread postby jack21 » 5th April, 2016, 2:52 pm

Jacketh wrote:Parents took it well originally, then started bitching and having a meltdown when I weren't in the room.

Brother said he could tell.

Gran said when she found out "she was already quite aware" (she did discover a memory card full of gay porn before I came out)

Friends were fine, one screamed in my face and dropped her pasta pot when I calmly told her walking out of dinner.

But it 100% made me more confident and self-assured. Even when I came out, I still found it difficult to say the word "gay" itself, or talk about openly. But after being out of a while and seeing others not care, it does have a massive underlying impact.


I had some mates over a few weeks ago and mother decided that she simply HAD to cook dinner for us all. :crazy: Whilst eating, i cant remember exactly, but i presume it was a 'gay joke' aimed at me over something; and my Bro simply chirped in at this point and said he had always had a hunch about my sexuality. :shifty: thankfully he seems ok about it so far but until i tell him for real ill find out what he really thinks.
Things that are worth doing; will take as much time as they need.
-Myself
User avatar
jack21
Member
 
Posts: 488
Joined: 14th August, 2013, 8:40 am
Location: Midlands
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
0 / 7

Re: Coming out reactions

Unread postby Circles » 5th April, 2016, 3:07 pm

My parents took it like a fucking mess. I got "We still love you" but also "I'd rather be dead than you be this". They put me through hell, and I guess they think it purged me. They either think I'm cured, or they're in denial. Either way, it's been months since it's been acknowledged or brought up, and I don't hope to ever change that. They're the only reason I've ever pondered suicide (I won't, don't worry), if only to leave a note saying "You did this."

Okay, a touch melodramatic. Moving on.

My friends on the other hand, were all delightful. I'm as gay as can be around them, and I love it. I'm infinitely more comfortable both with myself, my friendships, and my sexuality since I came out to my friends.

As long as the people you come out to aren't horribly homophobic, chances are it will be a good experience.
ImageImageImageImageoooo
ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage
Image
User avatar
Circles
Twinkerbell
 
First name: Marshall
Posts: 4146
Likes received: 86
Joined: 3rd March, 2013, 5:32 pm
Location: Berlin
Country: Germany (de)

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
4 / 7

Team: Odd Squad

Re: Coming out reactions

Unread postby alehizzle » 5th April, 2016, 3:18 pm

All of my closest friends took it very well, except one went and started blabbing to a bunch of people I didn't want to know at the time.

My parents took it differently:

My dad was a little confused at first but did the whole "you're still my son and I love you, I just want your life to have happiness" thing. His wife did the whole "I thought so, but I didn't want to say anything" thing and then she started neglecting me emotionally, which ended up in my removal from the house.

My mother said something similar to my dad, but she quickly started ignoring me and finding ways to screw me over. I haven't talked to her in years.
Image
Image
User avatar
alehizzle
The White Wolf
 
First name: Alex
Posts: 3855
Likes received: 1
Joined: 3rd December, 2011, 7:06 pm
Location: Arizona
Country: United States (us)

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
0 / 7

Re: Coming out reactions

Unread postby JonathanT88 » 5th April, 2016, 3:21 pm

I've not had a single bad reaction.

My parents said they'd always had a hunch after I told them aged 12, and my mum got rather overly excited in an adorably motherly but annoyingly overbearing way. She still gives me at least one gay-themed movie every Christmas, even though they're invariably shit.

I only came out to a few of my friends at first, they also took is very well. From 2013-2015 I didn't bother telling anyone else because I didn't really see the point nor the need to waste such valuable energy on such a trivial matter, but whadeyaknow it got out eventually in a series of events I still can't quite figure out. All of my deductions seem to point towards "the other gay in the school" finding out and telling everyone, which irritated me a little (probably because he himself is rather irritating) but, to be honest, he actually saved me from a lot of boring conversations and wasted time.

Nowadays I presume I'm out but can never be sure because I never actually properly came out, but my best friend makes enough loud jokes about it that I'm fairly certain people know.
Gudrun wrote:

"How many times have I told you? Homosexuality is only to be used for revolutionary purposes!"

Image ImageImage

ImageImageImage
User avatar
JonathanT88
Horny Jonathan of the Homosexual Intifada
 
First name: Jonathan (duh.)
Posts: 5638
Likes received: 783
Joined: 1st June, 2013, 1:19 pm
Location: A Berlin sex dungeon
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
0 / 7

Re: Coming out reactions

Unread postby Dennis » 5th April, 2016, 3:31 pm

Family were surprised although my dad seemed like he knew, his reaction wasn't one of surprise at all. He congratulated me :) My mom, sister and brother hadn't seen it coming but I knew they would be completely fine with it, and they were. Friends were a bit scarier but my best friend said it didn't change anything for him and my other friends just didn't believe it most of the time, but they didnt have any problem with it and are super chill about it now (although they do forget sometimes and make a comment about girls, and then realise I'm gay and apologize :D) I got a new job and told everyone there I was gay so it wouldn't really be coming out, they still don't know theyre the first people I ever told face to face. I came out over a period of 4/5 weeks to everyone and that made it way more relaxed. Coming out is definitely a nice thing to do, I wasnt that stressed about reactions but it's still nice to talk about guys and just knowing that you can make whatever comment you want. Good luck with coming out and let us know how it goes. It's always worth doing.
User avatar
Dennis
Jack's creative hoe
 
Posts: 517
Joined: 22nd July, 2015, 7:32 pm

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
0 / 7

Re: Coming out reactions

Unread postby Cobalt » 5th April, 2016, 3:40 pm

Everyone was entirely unsurprised because I was a faggoty little child. :rofl:
User avatar
Cobalt
Momderator
 
Posts: 21656
Likes received: 298
Joined: 1st August, 2009, 12:20 am
Country: United States (us)

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
0 / 7

Re: Coming out reactions

Unread postby Thotiana » 5th April, 2016, 3:57 pm

My friends were not surprised at all and they were very open minded to begin with. There wasn't much of a big reaction but a lots of like "we're so proud of you". Some were upset because I told my other friends first :rofl2:

I haven't came out to any of my family members yet though. However, I made a YouTube video and it's very apparent that I'm not straight in it. My mom and other family members follow me on Instagram where I shared it... I don't know if she has seen it yet :wtc: My cousin has though and she's treating me the same way as she did before :P

I think coming out was a double edged sword for me. It was like a lot of pressured relieved and I didn't have to hold back myself. But at the same time it has also made me a lot more sad. When I was in the closet the last thing I thought about was love. Now I always get down and jealous when I see cute boys :rofl2: Ironically, I think my confidence level has went down now too. Since I feel like I'm starting to care more about the way I am for other boys... :runaway:
Thotiana
Classy Hoe
 
First name: Steven
Posts: 1494
Likes received: 7
Joined: 14th February, 2016, 4:11 am
Country: United States (us)

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
0 / 7

Re: Coming out reactions

Unread postby Goobriel » 6th April, 2016, 4:59 am

It first started when I asked for girl dolls when I was...9? My mom asked me if I was gay (many other events led up to this). At the time, I had been oblivious to its meaning, so I just said yea. So the next day I asked the guy that knew a lot about sex and stuff (we all had him in our lives in at least one grade), who was my best friend, what was gay. He told me. I thought: "oh yea, I guess I can get into that"

So to this day, I don't think I would be gay or would have thought about it without my mother.
I was never here
User avatar
Goobriel
elf making british toys
 
First name: John Doe
Posts: 404
Likes received: 4
Joined: 18th May, 2015, 4:57 pm

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
0 / 7

Re: Coming out reactions

Unread postby jack21 » 6th April, 2016, 5:10 am

Goobriel wrote:It first started when I asked for girl dolls when I was...9? My mom asked me if I was gay (many other events led up to this). At the time, I had been oblivious to its meaning, so I just said yea. So the next day I asked the guy that knew a lot about sex and stuff (we all had him in our lives in at least one grade), who was my best friend, what was gay. He told me. I thought: "oh yea, I guess I can get into that"

So to this day, I don't think I would be gay or would have thought about it without my mother.


Thats quite amusing :awesome: :lol:
Things that are worth doing; will take as much time as they need.
-Myself
User avatar
jack21
Member
 
Posts: 488
Joined: 14th August, 2013, 8:40 am
Location: Midlands
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
0 / 7

Re: Coming out reactions

Unread postby thaprot » 6th April, 2016, 6:12 am

I got a lot of very surprised reactions, nobody had any real clue that I maybe gay, but to this day I'm yet to have a negative one. I did manage to guess how my entire immediate family would react - my mum and dad were just 'it doesn't matter we love you anyway regardless', younger sister sent a long and rambling 'omg you're so brave' nonsense text, older sister claimed she knew all along despite her regularly asking about if I had a girlfriend previously and my brother said he hoped my church were ok with it. I was worried about telling grandparents but even then they just said 'oh, ok'.

These days telling people I'm gay is one of my favourite things to do. I never make a big deal of it so the shock on people's faces if they put their foot in their mouth always makes me laugh.
My inbox is always open, feel free to PM me if you need a friendly face, some advice or just fancy a chat! :)

Similarly, if you need any moddy stuff done and nobody is online, PMs to me send a direct email to my phone so I'll do my best to help ASAP.

Jacketh wrote:Oh, damn. Ignore me. Listen to Josh.
User avatar
thaprot
taproot the grumpy cat
 
First name: Josh
Posts: 3187
Likes received: 4
Joined: 9th October, 2012, 6:50 pm
Location: Durham
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
0 / 7

Re: Coming out reactions

Unread postby Hohenidoom » 6th April, 2016, 6:27 am

My brother laughed at me for being stupid enough to be outed and occasionally calls me a faggot , but he made it clear that he really didn't give two fucks. He even had a little go at the guy who outed me , which made me immensely proud of him. To this day I can't say I've felt more respect for the kid than then.

As for my parents , I haven't come out. I'd rather keep it inside and play the adrenaline inducing game of "lets hide a boyfriend" than risk having a bad reaction. I doubt my parents would care much but I refuse completely to take the risk right now.
Fear God and Dread nought
User avatar
Hohenidoom
High Church and Hard Brexit
 
Posts: 2036
Likes received: 57
Joined: 10th May, 2015, 6:34 am

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
0 / 7

Re: Coming out reactions

Unread postby Greengobert » 6th April, 2016, 6:29 am

i don't know since it hasn't happened yet-many ppl think i'm straight. lol
Greengobert
Member
 
Posts: 52
Likes received: 7
Joined: 9th February, 2013, 6:59 pm

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
0 / 7

Re: Coming out reactions

Unread postby JB » 6th April, 2016, 6:35 am

Well I came out to my family last week and they already basically knew so that was nice. I also told friends beforehand and they were really supportive, and encouraged me to do it.

I've not had any negative comments yet which is good
reading is fundamental
JB
New Member
 
First name: JB
Posts: 5
Joined: 6th April, 2016, 6:24 am
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
0 / 7

Re: Coming out reactions

Unread postby Dennis » 6th April, 2016, 7:04 am

thaprot wrote:These days telling people I'm gay is one of my favourite things to do. I never make a big deal of it so the shock on people's faces if they put their foot in their mouth always makes me laugh.


Hahahah exactly this. The main reason why I like being gay, a girl from work yesterday asked me if I had a girlfriend and I said:"Boyfriend in my case, but no I'm single" It was incredibly funny because she tried to respond in a similar way like it wasn't a big deal but you could see complete shock on her face. "Oh ooohhh, okay" :rofl2:
User avatar
Dennis
Jack's creative hoe
 
Posts: 517
Joined: 22nd July, 2015, 7:32 pm

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
0 / 7

Re: Coming out reactions

Unread postby thaprot » 6th April, 2016, 7:10 am

Dennis wrote:
thaprot wrote:These days telling people I'm gay is one of my favourite things to do. I never make a big deal of it so the shock on people's faces if they put their foot in their mouth always makes me laugh.


Hahahah exactly this. The main reason why I like being gay, a girl from work yesterday asked me if I had a girlfriend and I said:"Boyfriend in my case, but no I'm single" It was incredibly funny because she tried to respond in a similar way like it wasn't a big deal but you could see complete shock on her face. "Oh ooohhh, okay" :rofl2:

My favourite one was when a new girl started in our office a while back. There was already me and 3 other women who worked there so this made it me and four women. The new girl piped up, within about half an hour of her first day, 'You better be careful or us four will turn you gay'! I just looked at her and said 'bit late for that', the look on her face was a picture. :lol:
My inbox is always open, feel free to PM me if you need a friendly face, some advice or just fancy a chat! :)

Similarly, if you need any moddy stuff done and nobody is online, PMs to me send a direct email to my phone so I'll do my best to help ASAP.

Jacketh wrote:Oh, damn. Ignore me. Listen to Josh.
User avatar
thaprot
taproot the grumpy cat
 
First name: Josh
Posts: 3187
Likes received: 4
Joined: 9th October, 2012, 6:50 pm
Location: Durham
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
0 / 7

Re: Coming out reactions

Unread postby Dennis » 6th April, 2016, 8:45 am

thaprot wrote:
Dennis wrote:
thaprot wrote:These days telling people I'm gay is one of my favourite things to do. I never make a big deal of it so the shock on people's faces if they put their foot in their mouth always makes me laugh.


Hahahah exactly this. The main reason why I like being gay, a girl from work yesterday asked me if I had a girlfriend and I said:"Boyfriend in my case, but no I'm single" It was incredibly funny because she tried to respond in a similar way like it wasn't a big deal but you could see complete shock on her face. "Oh ooohhh, okay" :rofl2:

My favourite one was when a new girl started in our office a while back. There was already me and 3 other women who worked there so this made it me and four women. The new girl piped up, within about half an hour of her first day, 'You better be careful or us four will turn you gay'! I just looked at her and said 'bit late for that', the look on her face was a picture. :lol:


hahahaha, see Jack being out is actually a lot of fun. The first few people you tell will be nerve wracking but once you get used to it, it turns into something really funny to tell people and see their responses. I've done a few mindfucks where people asked me:"Are you really?" And I responded with:"No of course not wtf" the confusion is so much fun when they have no idea what to believe anymore. So come out and have fun :D
User avatar
Dennis
Jack's creative hoe
 
Posts: 517
Joined: 22nd July, 2015, 7:32 pm

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
0 / 7

Re: Coming out reactions

Unread postby Mathue » 6th April, 2016, 11:32 am

Came out to my best friend first, and I knew he was gay anyway so that went really well haha he was sorta like "yeah I had an idea when I met you". Then I started to come out to my close friends one at a time as I felt more comfortable with it etc etc.

Now its like, I don't go shouting it to the world but if people find out by either asking or over-hearing a convo I'm having with someone, I don't care if they find out. Some of my friend's reactions are priceless, especially when they had absolutely no idea. Most of the girls who didn't have a clue told me they had a crush on me when they first met me :lol: :lol: :lol: which is really funny

My parents... That happened really weirdly, we were talking about someone else and (this was in the car and my mom was driving) my mom was like "AND YOU ARE???" and my body language and like sort of trying to get away from the topic, she was just like "are you gay?!" and I was like "Maybe idk" (knowing full well I was).

She's fine with it but she keeps saying to me "just keep an open mind, a girl might come along" --- I'm sitting there thinking *If Downstairs aint happy, I wont be* :gay: :rofl2: :rofl2: and Ive never spoken about it with dad but he knows cause I said mom could tell him hahaha
HOUSE CUP 2015 WATER

Image Image
User avatar
Mathue
The Better Matt
 
First name: Matt/Matthew
Posts: 388
Likes received: 5
Joined: 21st June, 2015, 5:20 am
Country: United Kingdom (gb)

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
0 / 7

Re: Coming out reactions

Unread postby Stripy Tiger » 6th April, 2016, 11:35 am

Jacketh wrote:Gran said when she found out "she was already quite aware" (she did discover a memory card full of gay porn before I came out)


:rofl2: :rofl2: :rofl2: :lol:
Stripy Tiger
Member
 
Posts: 522
Likes received: 1
Joined: 8th February, 2016, 10:24 am

Activity levelBased on posting activity in the past two weeks. Tier IV and above grant custom name colours in Discord.
:
Tier I
Progress to next tier:
0 / 7

Next

Recently active
Users browsing this forum: CommonCrawl [Bot], devedani, Kaspar, Majestic-12 [Bot], Proximic [Bot], Shayla, Sogou [Spider], Wayde, Yandex Images [Bot] and 271 guests