Coming Out Thread

Discuss sexuality, whether your own or someone else's.

Coming Out Thread

Unread postby Unseasoned Chicken » 12th February, 2017, 9:57 pm

Yo guys, a big reason people look up sites like these is to find the courage and help to come out, and we've all seen how good youtube coming out vids are. So I know you've all done it a million times but write your coming out stories again or just copy and paste from other threads so that new members can be inspired.
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Re: Coming Out Thread

Unread postby Dolly » 12th February, 2017, 10:34 pm

1. Friends/school: Usually, if they just ask I will tell them or if they ask if I have a girlfriend.

2. Sister: I was forced to come out to her to avoid having to come out to the entire family. My brother found my YouNow that said I was gay, and to prevent further drama, I had her tell him that it was her friend's.

3. Brother: He caught me on the forum, looked it up, and figured what was up.

4. Mom: My brother told my mom.

Yeah, it sucks.
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Re: Coming Out Thread

Unread postby Scherzy » 13th February, 2017, 6:45 am

I put it in the post script of a letter home from summer camp, parents thought it was a joke, was not brought up again for a while until they asked my sister, they were cool with it. Not much else to say.
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Re: Coming Out Thread

Unread postby LiamLovesOlly » 14th February, 2017, 1:59 am

I came out to my best friends slowly over facebook messenger and the like with the "i need to tell you something" trick lmao. And the same to my mum and sisters oops.

To my whole school I did a whole dramatic ask.fm post (oh god, remember that being a thing??) because people kept asking on there if i was "really straight" or "are u gay omgz" so to one I got fed up, did a paragraph and posted it to both facebook and twitter, and let everyone see the truth. It was the hot gossip for all of about 3 days, everyone was fine and then moved on when a couple formed or broke up or two girls fell out at sixth, whatever the next big thing for 5 minutes was! It was kinda nice being the centre of attention for a bit to be honest but that's how school is :')

When I went to uni and met a lot of new people with it of course, I didn't really come out as I didn't feel the need to make the splash again. I subtly brought it up when it came up, like they'd ask me who the hottest girl was and I'd say "nah I like guys, matt is more my type" or we were talking about other unis and someone mentioned their sister going to the uni my ex did and I just dropped in "he" instead of making a fuss. Everyone importnat in my life knows now, all my friends and family. If say a random acquaintance at a pre drinks asks or anything, I'll say as I did when I was getting to know my friends.
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Re: Coming Out Thread

Unread postby Tim. » 15th February, 2017, 4:40 am

Came out to one best friend through text, another while drunk, all other friends very casually by just slipping it into conversation. Family yet to do as I just can't bring myself to have the conversation, even though I'm 99% they know anyway lol.
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Re: Coming Out Thread

Unread postby gaycanadian » 20th February, 2017, 6:29 pm

So far I have come out to 3 people, my mother, and 2 people at school. The first time is always the hardest. One night my mother was bugging me about this girl I used to be friends with. I necessary ended up telling her, yeah, she isn't my girlfriend. I assure you. I was close to telling her that night, but didn't. The next day I brought it back up, and was like "do you want to know why"? "Awkward pause" Becuase... I'm gay... And I swear, the most overwhelming feeling came over me, and I basically started to sweat. It was so weird but felt great... She was fine with it, but to this day I think she thinks it's a "stage" even though I've told her I wouldn't have told her if I wasn't sure. The 2nd person I ever told was definitely easier, he was out as bi, one day I was just talking with him and I'm like, yeah well I'm gay.... He honestly couldn't have cared less... He's like "yeah, so?" Which was the reaction I was expecting. The 3rd person, was another guy at school I'm pretty good friends with. One day the GSA (gender sexuality alliance I believe) was doing some sort of contest in a spare room at lunch time. I was just in there talking with him and he's like "you know, you're the only straight person in here" I just kind of laughed it off.. He says he's bi but he's also said he's straight since, so IDK. A few days later I gathered up the courage and was like, hey, remember that day that we were in the room and you said "blah blah blah"? Yeah, there actually wasn't anyone straight in that room. He's like what? Are you gay? I said yes, and he seemed all excited lol...

Every time it takes some courage, but I'm to the point where I pretty well have down not caring what people think, I don't think it's everyone's business, otherwise I'd probably come out all together at school. I know I'd definitely get some negative feedback.But like I said, I pretty well have the not giving a shit part down.. So.. Yeah
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Re: Coming Out Thread

Unread postby JonathanT88 » 20th February, 2017, 6:41 pm

Mum was a bit drunk, and I told her because she made some reference to future girlfriends. She told dad.

Told a few friends in conversation and it just sort of worked its way around the school from there. I'm still not quite sure everyone knows, but I tell people if it comes up or if I'm taking the piss out of myself.

All relatively painless, thank god.
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Re: Coming Out Thread

Unread postby gaycanadian » 20th February, 2017, 7:08 pm

I suspect next will be a good adult friend of mine. She literally calls me her adopted son / weekend child, because when she lived closer I would visit all the time. And, I even stayed with her once as my mother has a slight alcohol problem. It's not that she's far now, but not being able to legally (lol) drive, 15 minutes can seem like forever. Judging by some of the stuff she shares on Facebook, I know she'd be fine with it. I'm just a nervous person though, always thinking about what could go wrong. Even though I know it's not exactly much... After that will likely be my aunt, and I can go from there. Not sure about telling my dad. He's southern, bible born and bred... From what I've gathered, he knows being gay (or anything else but trans) isn't a choice, but he just doesn't seem to like all the "attention" we get (pride parade etc) and of course he says marriage should only be between man and wife blah blah (wake up and smell the roses, dude)
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Re: Coming Out Thread

Unread postby Liam » 20th February, 2017, 9:24 pm

Well for my coming out it happened over the course of several months.

First I came out to a guy who would eventually be my first boyfriend.
Then I wrote a letter to my parents and gave it to them, and they were both incredibly supportive and loving although a little clueless but that's fine :P
After my parents I really wanted someone I could actually talk to about stuff, not that I can't talk to my parents but I'm not gonna talk to them about boys and that sorta thing. So I came out to a good friend of mine and she was totally awesome and it went really well.

Then it stayed there for a while. I started dating Taylor and really wanted to come out to my friends, but I felt the need to tell my brother first.
So did that, he was totally chill and then I told all my friends.
My best friend went really well and then my other friends found out kinda jokingly and when I told them I wasnt kidding they were all really awesome too.
Now it's slowly spreading through the school which I'm pretty okay with. Nothing bad has happened so far and I'm really happy that I'm able to be open :)
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Re: Coming Out Thread

Unread postby SociologyBoi » 22nd February, 2017, 7:58 pm

I moved around a lot during the time I wanted to come out so it was spectacularly difficult. First I came out to a select group of close friends, one of which I had a crush on and he came out to me as asexual, but because I was young and ignorant, I told him that asexuality was just for plants

. I moved not too much longer than that. One day I just stopped caring and told everyone I interacted with at school. I'm pretty sure I tried to be a slut, but that was sixth grade and no other guys wanted to do anything with me.

I moved somewhere else and came out to my mom who told me not to tell anyone until I was sixteen. She didn't care I was gay but she's extra nurturing so she was kinda pissed because apparently she expected to get a couple of grandchildren out of me. I told her I want to adopt and I think that just made it worse. She told the rest of my siblings within a month.

We moved again and the very first friend I made was a gay boy a year older than me being the only two out gay kids in a small town we kinda felt obliged to date. He pressured me to coming out to everyone so he could fee more comfortable with me publicly.

Since then I've been entirely out. When I meet a new person it of course presents itself eventually. Though apparently my dad never knew until one time I told him coming out of anesthesia.
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Re: Coming Out Thread

Unread postby Dolly » 22nd February, 2017, 9:38 pm

SociologyBoi wrote:I'm pretty sure I tried to be a slut, but that was sixth grade and no other guys wanted to do anything with me.


I too tried to be a slut in sixth grade. (tbh what the fuck is happening to kids these days? when i was in 6th grade i used to play monsters on a playground)
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Re: Coming Out Thread

Unread postby Patrixen » 23rd February, 2017, 6:59 am

My grandma found caught me being on a gay porn site, and was trying to convince me that I can still be straight and that it's just a phase or something.

Weird, I know xdd
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Re: Coming Out Thread

Unread postby aalawand » 21st March, 2017, 6:23 pm

I was visiting some relatives and out of nowhere i get a text from my friend, Stephanie, telling me that her boyfriend broke up with her. In my mind I was like if I have to deal with your problems then you better be okay with my homo-ness. so I sent a text to her saying "Stephanie, I appreciate you running to me with your problems but if i'm going to help you, you need to help me." So I explained to her that I was gay and she was like "About time you come out".

Next person I came out to was my cousin. We went to a national park that was 2 hours away from Dallas and as we were hiking, in the middle of nowhere, with no one to be seen, I was like "Jad, i'm gay". Then my mother called and told him to pause his reaction. After the phone call, I told him "So yeah, ta-da." He didn't like it but after I answered all his questions about seeing a doctor for this illness, he slowly started to realize that gay is okay. Now remember, being Arab, it's really difficult coming out to relatives so I had to really study him for about 2 years before I could even hint it.

The next person I came out to (well, not really come out... He caught me.) was my other cousin. He caught me with gay porn 3 times and somehow I still made him believe that I was straight. (he dislikes LGBTQ) but he still makes fun of me.

Couple months later, me and another cousin were having deep.. intellectual... conversations.. just kidding, we were talking about naked women and then all of a sudden he tells me that he's not religious and questions religion in general Great, I can trust you now. Then I got up and told him that I was gay and he was like "I know" (I don't flaunt my sexuality. I don't have a high pitched voice or anything that would make him realize I was gay so I was like ??????????

He was fine with it.

NEXT PERSON i come out to was my brother. He was going through personal issues with my parents and his girlfriend so in order to gain his trust and tell me what's wrong, I came out to him. He was shocked but told me he's glad I came out to him.

That's it. Ever since then I kept silent. It's been about a year since I last came out.

I've been saving money since I was 13 as an emergency fund just in case my parents found out. Fortunately they still don't know so all is well.
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Re: Coming Out Thread

Unread postby devotion » 12th April, 2017, 4:15 pm

1. Mother - I ended up being forced to tell her by my girlfriend's mother through blackmail. Luckily, she was completely fine with it and even said "I've always known you weren't straight"

2. Sister - my mother told my sister that I was seeing someone, and then she began to list some girls I was friends with. She always knew I was gay too.

3. Grandmother - my mother told her too, and she replied "Oh, we all knew it was going to happen, didn't we?"

4. Friends - well, me and my girlfriend are in the same friendship group so they just realised. There were some closer friends that I told beforehand due to the fact it was over a school break.
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Re: Coming Out Thread

Unread postby NathanD3V » 13th April, 2017, 5:31 am

1. Everyone (kinda) - I was at a wedding and asked a gay guy my age to dance with me. Had a pretty fun evening but quite a lot of people gave really judgemental looks. Apparently, they didn't get the idea.

2. Mother - Friday 30th October 2015 at 19:15... Yeah, I remember. Locked myself in the bathroom and came out as "gay". She was confused and ended up being pretty mad. Slept rough for a couple of nights to get out of the house but it was fine. She still hasn't fully accepted it, and I don't think she ever will, but she's supportive of my "choices" and thinks it's just a phase... Yay...

3. Mother (part 2) - Re-came out (is that a thing?) as "open" because I didn't want to place sexual restrictions on myself and just accepted that I'll fall in love with whoever I wanna fall in love with. Done, end of story, nothing further said.

3. Friends - At this point I don't really care about labelling myself so I just tell people "love for who they are, not what they are". To others, if I have a boyfriend, I'm "gay"and if I have a girlfriend, I'm "straight". So... Whatever... I just let them think whatever they want at the time X'D

4. Everyone - I'm fine holding my boyfriend's hand in public and putting my arm around him etc. I hate when other couples have PDA moments, so I don't do that - but I'm perfectly happy with being seen in public with another guy.
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Re: Coming Out Thread

Unread postby gaycanadian » 18th April, 2017, 7:57 pm

I've already posted on here, but I've had 2 other experiences since.

A guy I know was dating a girl I know, that girls god mother is VERY good friends with me (she's mentioned above). He broke up with her, and her god mother tried to set me up with her... At which point I baisically told her, and she was fine and even apologetic.

The second one happened last night, I was bored and a friend of mine sent me a snapchat. By what she shares on FB, she seemed fine with the LGBT comunity, I had been thinking about telling her, and this is what happened.

Me: How are you with secrets
Her: Very good y
Me: Because I'm pretty sure I can trust you,
Me: I just thought I'd let you know I'm gay
Me: Lets just keep this between us please ;)
Her: Really?
Her: That's cool I am too
Me: Really? I would have never expected that
Her: Well me either, I've been dating "EC" for 4 months

And that's all that really matters. I was not expecting it but it was an awesome surpurise.
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Re: Coming Out Thread

Unread postby Kaspar » 25th April, 2017, 5:14 pm

. :P
Last edited by Kaspar on 27th June, 2017, 9:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Bad drunk joke, I would leave it, if it was funny at least :P
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Re: Coming Out Thread

Unread postby T33Bone » 27th June, 2017, 1:05 am

So far only came out to a select few few friends and classmates. But a lot of them were so sly and off the cuff that they can barely be considered a "coming out", so for all intents and purposes, I'm so deep in the closet that I'm basically in Narnia.

So I'm in class and me and this friend are studying, he goes up and asks me "Can I borrow a ruler or anything straight."

So I give him a pencil and then reply. "My pencil's straight but I'm not."

He gives me this blank stare for an awkward ten seconds, kind of like the "I get what you're saying but will pretend that you didn't say that" look.

There's there's this other class I was in where me and this friend where presenting, he said "straighten your back." So after standing up straight I commented "My back is straight but I'm not.". Once again, got that same look.
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Re: Coming Out Thread

Unread postby WOLFwag » 5th August, 2017, 10:54 pm

I first came out as bisexual to two older friends, one of which I had a huge crush on. I didn't want to fully come out as gay because I had just dragged myself out of a straight relationship that I was guilted into and forced to play along with to keep my popularity. After that, my crush flirted with me constantly, so that gave me a ton of confidence for a while, and I came out to my two most liberal friends, who were just as supportive as my first two friends. I fully came out to my friend group at the winter formal dance, but after that, my crush stopped flirting with me and acted totally platonic. This put me in a slight depression, and I didn't feel quite confident to come out to my class for four months. I finally did it on a school trip to Arkansas. I started acting open at school, and publicly flirted with some cute guys from the grade below, cementing my position as the schools only openly LGBT kid. Nobody said anything to my parents (thank god) so I fijnally came out to them in the middle of the summer. Though they were the only people who I said I was gay to, they were convinced I was bisexual, meaning eventually I'm going to have to come out again as gay. I still haven't told my sister and wont post anything on social media but whatever.
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Re: Coming Out Thread

Unread postby boiii » 7th September, 2017, 11:23 am

I recently came out to the people at school, my brother and my parents.

In a chatroom on facebook I told my classmates who were okay about it. There already was a lesbian and a bisexual girl in my class so I knew that they wouldn't be homophobic or something :D

Coming out to my parents was harder, it made me nervous whenever I came close to doing it. Not that they would be homophobic, I knew they wouldn't be. I really can't think of a reason why I was nervous : / but I was.
I finally decided to do it monday evening.

Earlier that day we had our first English lesson of the year and the teacher was giving us questions to get to know us better. She asked me what I would say if my hypothetical girlfriend wore a very ugly dress and asked me what I thought of it. I said that I was gay and that I would say my opinion, but that I really don't know anything about fashion at all. Ask Ethan :P
She asked me if my parents already knew and I said that I'm waiting for the right moment and that it could be that evening. Naturally everyone assumed that I'd tell them that evening.

So that evening I was re-checking if I did all my homework and realized that we had English the next day. They'll ask me how it went.
To avoid having everyone think that I chickened out I went downstairs, watched tv with them for a while and eventually told them. They were okay with it too and asked some questions. My mum wanted to show that she's okay with it by taking the "you are who you are approach) but she didn't think straight haha for a second said: "well it is your choice." :rofl2:

In the end it couldn't have gone better and I'm glad I got it over with.
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