I'm so sick of being shamed for likng masculine guys

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I'm so sick of being shamed for likng masculine guys

Unread postby Anonymousguy » 18th October, 2017, 5:25 pm

It seems that in the gay community perfering masculine men is a problem and it apparently means you're self loathing, don't believe me just look up masc4masc and you'll see alot of gay people bashing dudes who say this. For this reason I honestly don't even want to be apart of the gay community because it's just as opressive as the so called "straight society" where you're told what you're aloud to find attractive.
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Re: I'm so sick of being shamed for likng masculine guys

Unread postby Anonymous Boy » 18th October, 2017, 7:36 pm

That's not right. It's just a preference, and when that preference is that strong, you might as well be straightforward about it on dating sites etc. rather than waste the time of people who are in all likelihood not a match for you.

I don't think you'll find much shaming like that here on this forum. If you do, let me know and I'll try to do something about it.

By the way, cool name :thumbsup:
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Re: I'm so sick of being shamed for likng masculine guys

Unread postby KrisCross » 19th October, 2017, 4:27 am

There's definitely not a problem with being more attracted to masculine men and nobody should shame you for that.

However, there's a reason for all the criticism 'masc4masc' gets. Feminine men have historically been looked down upon by a part of the more masculine side of the gay community. Some men aren't just not attracted to fem gays, but they make offensive and disrespectful statements like 'They're all obnoxious and just doing it for attention' or 'They give gay men a bad reputation'. The issue doesn't lie with innocent personal preferences, but with femininity being seen as inferior, as is evident with some profiles literally stating 'No fags' or 'If I wanted a girl, I'd be straight'.

With that also comes the fact that it's not really easy to draw a line, as gay men can have varying degrees of feminine traits. For me, the vast majority of homosexual men have something that gives them away, but maybe you don't notice such things as easily, which could result in the same guy appearing quite fem to me, while you consider him more masc. Therefore, having a line like 'only masc guys' on a dating profile can sometimes make it hard for some to determine if they would be considered manly enough for you, so they might decide not to message you. That's why I consider going on a date the easiest and most effective way to figure out whether you're compatible for eachother! :P

So don't worry, there's definitely nothing wrong being more attracted to more masculine types of men, as long as you're not disrespecting or judging others! :keke:
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Re: I'm so sick of being shamed for likng masculine guys

Unread postby Anonymousguy » 19th October, 2017, 3:21 pm

KrisCross wrote:There's definitely not a problem with being more attracted to masculine men and nobody should shame you for that.

However, there's a reason for all the criticism 'masc4masc' gets. Feminine men have historically been looked down upon by a part of the more masculine side of the gay community. Some men aren't just not attracted to fem gays, but they make offensive and disrespectful statements like 'They're all obnoxious and just doing it for attention' or 'They give gay men a bad reputation'. The issue doesn't lie with innocent personal preferences, but with femininity being seen as inferior, as is evident with some profiles literally stating 'No fags' or 'If I wanted a girl, I'd be straight'.

With that also comes the fact that it's not really easy to draw a line, as gay men can have varying degrees of feminine traits. For me, the vast majority of homosexual men have something that gives them away, but maybe you don't notice such things as easily, which could result in the same guy appearing quite fem to me, while you consider him more masc. Therefore, having a line like 'only masc guys' on a dating profile can sometimes make it hard for some to determine if they would be considered manly enough for you, so they might decide not to message you. That's why I consider going on a date the easiest and most effective way to figure out whether you're compatible for eachother! :P

So don't worry, there's definitely nothing wrong being more attracted to more masculine types of men, as long as you're not disrespecting or judging others! :keke:


I dont think the vast majority of gay guys are fem to an obvious degree i think yes most gays are feminine and you only notice tye ones with some fem characteristicd but alot of us are undistinguishable from straight guys just froma lot of the guys the ones i've encountered at certain meetings and for the most part bi guys are masculine
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Re: I'm so sick of being shamed for likng masculine guys

Unread postby marcosgs13 » 1st November, 2017, 10:00 am

I understand you dude. I also have that preference masc4masc for it represents the masculinity at its pick. Though I also consider that such comments on fem gay people are offensive. Here at school I know one bi and one gay guy. Being honest, I think that what also attracts me is muscle so I'm likely to be attracted to muscle masculine guys. There are dude and I think as we get older we will find that kind for almost nobody seems to be "so masculine at this age" in reference to muscle (I'm talking about me) But don't desesperate, we're at least teenagers. You have lot of time to meet someone who meets your requirements. Greetings
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Re: I'm so sick of being shamed for likng masculine guys

Unread postby Auralnauts » 7th November, 2017, 1:43 pm

I'm currently dating a masculine guy, first time ever actually. I've never been happier with my relationship so fuck what others think. If it's what you like, it's what you like. I used to be criticized by my exes because they knew I liked masculinity (they were all very feminine). They are now also my exes so.
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Re: I'm so sick of being shamed for likng masculine guys

Unread postby George » 7th November, 2017, 2:06 pm

There is nothing wrong with being into masculine men, but to bash feminine men for not being masculine enough (not saying you are) is equally as bad as bashing you for being into masculine men.
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Re: I'm so sick of being shamed for likng masculine guys

Unread postby Vortex » 7th November, 2017, 6:28 pm

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Re: I'm so sick of being shamed for likng masculine guys

Unread postby MoonBear » 9th November, 2017, 1:29 pm

Most of the hate comes from the poor respect some dudes have for femeninity as it were something wrong. So I get completly why many bash the usual "masc4masc" for being a ridiculous and simplified way of saying I dont like anyone without the "straight look". I personally tend to go for guys who lean more towards the masculine side of the spectrum but I try to always be open for anyone because that is the least one can do. No one likes a shut door, specially if guys use strict discriminatory code to choose their sexbuddies.
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Re: I'm so sick of being shamed for likng masculine guys

Unread postby Wayde » 10th November, 2017, 1:53 pm

Honestly, I am the same way. I much prefer a more masculine guy. I look at it, though, like preference in race or hair color or height. You can have a preferences about liking certain things more than others (everybody does), but make that a personal thing. Don't stick it in your dating profile though. The moment you do that, it comes off almost like you think certain things are superior rather than just being a preference.
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Re: I'm so sick of being shamed for likng masculine guys

Unread postby revan9876 » 18th December, 2017, 11:14 pm

Honestly, I think a lot of the guys that give you problems because you like masc guys, are just secretly bitter that masc4masc guys won't even bother looking their way and like to make themselves look like the victim. Honestly, if someone give you crap for it, they are probably the most bitter of all that they can't get any, so they have to go after you because want it too but are ashamed of that attraction.
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Re: I'm so sick of being shamed for likng masculine guys

Unread postby chepsy99 » 25th December, 2017, 3:32 am

As someone who also prefers masc guys I have literally never ever seen anyone / been victimised myself for preferring masc guys. I understand this toxic masculinity shaming but not the same as preferring masc guys, don't confuse the two.
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Re: I'm so sick of being shamed for likng masculine guys

Unread postby Russell » 3rd January, 2018, 10:35 pm

Just stop giving a fuck about what other people think. So long as you're not being degrading to others who don't fit your preferences, then you just do you and forget about the rest.
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Re: I'm so sick of being shamed for likng masculine guys

Unread postby WinterIsHere » 30th January, 2018, 8:33 pm

I don't have nearly enough experience with any of this, but I would still like to offer one thing:
I hope at some point non-traditional relationships will be regarded like every other relationship. Often they are caught between expectations of subcultures and the crossfire of discrimination and hate.
I really do hope we can go back to prioritizing safety, affection and respect as universal values.

Relationships in general are often reduced to irrational norms, expectations or meaningless encounters, and I think the core values of sharing part or the entirety of one's life with someone special is a big deal that requires support and commitment.


Focus on the actual relationship you are hoping for and ignore the hate, it'll get better.
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Re: I'm so sick of being shamed for likng masculine guys

Unread postby Cobalt » 1st February, 2018, 3:29 pm

Russell wrote:Just stop giving a fuck about what other people think. So long as you're not being degrading to others who don't fit your preferences, then you just do you and forget about the rest.

hi Russell :awesome:
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Re: I'm so sick of being shamed for likng masculine guys

Unread postby Dolly » 3rd February, 2018, 1:57 pm

feminine gays: LOL toxic masculinity is making boys think they have to like sports and dress sharply. *applies on glitter and blush* YAAS QUEEN!!
normal gay: idk tbh masculine guys are kinda hot.
feminine gays: OMG WTF why the FUCK are you shaming feminine guys *flips hair weave*
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