How to stop sexual feelings for a straight guy

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How to stop sexual feelings for a straight guy

Unread postby unsureduck99 » 20th June, 2017, 4:11 am

So, with me, I am sexually attracted to guys and emotionally attracted to girls. I always thought I was gay until I started to have different feelings for people.

Anyway, so there is this guy at work who I am developing sexual feelings for. When we first started working with each other, I was sexually attracted to him, I found him really hot etc. But, as we started to get to know each other, them feelings started to fade away completely and was just interested in being friends. But now them feelings are starting up again and I honestly am back to obsessing over him. When I can, I do try and catch a glimpse of him at work which I'm sure he does not notice but in my opinion, that's creepy asf.

I've had this problem before with another guy who I was sexually attracted to but didn't really care about being friends. So could've fucked him then fucked off really.

Anyway, how am I meant to stop these feelings? I feel if I carry on like this, it will ruin us being friends which is something I'd rather have.
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Re: How to stop sexual feelings for a straight guy

Unread postby boiii » 20th June, 2017, 7:22 am

Castration is the only option.
I don't recommend it however.
This is a problem I'm sure a lot of people have and there isn't really a solution : /
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Re: How to stop sexual feelings for a straight guy

Unread postby Kaspar » 20th June, 2017, 11:04 am

The best option to stop having feelings for somebody is cutting them out of your life. As cruel as it sounds, if you want to forget someone, try to avoid them, not think about them by occupying yourself with different things. The most important factor - time. As time passes, it will get better and hopefully help you get over him completely. Unfortunately, it is impossible to get over somebody while being close friends at the same time.
Sorry if the answer isn't very appealing, but take my word - it only hurts more if you try to stick closely to the person :( This doesn't mean - cut all contact, but simply trying to be their best friend is destructive
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Re: How to stop sexual feelings for a straight guy

Unread postby Pity » 20th June, 2017, 12:38 pm

I don't think cutting someone out of your life is the best way to handle it, especially since you said you work together. I think you should try to focus on the fact that he will never want to be with you and that he has no interest in having sex with another man and may think it's repulsive. You should also try diverting your sexual feelings to someone you know is gay and that you have a slight chance with. Another solution would be to pay more attention to women and trying to be more attached to them. I imagine it's hell to have only romantic feelings for women and only sexual feelings for men, but you can't let it ruin friendships and keep off track at work. Best of luck! :)
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Re: How to stop sexual feelings for a straight guy

Unread postby unsureduck99 » 21st June, 2017, 11:08 am

Trust me, it is confusing my sexual orientation.

I don't think I would like to cut him out. Just get rid of these 'sexual' feelings but it is so difficult.'..
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Re: How to stop sexual feelings for a straight guy

Unread postby Scorpius X-1 » 21st June, 2017, 8:30 pm

unsureduck99 wrote:Trust me, it is confusing my sexual orientation.

I don't think I would like to cut him out. Just get rid of these 'sexual' feelings but it is so difficult.'..


Find a gay guy. You can't get rid of sexual feelings, but you may be able to redirect them.

(I'll be testing that theory of redirection when I go off to college!)
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Re: How to stop sexual feelings for a straight guy

Unread postby Littlenorthernboy » 21st June, 2017, 10:01 pm

The more you try to resist, the harder it gets. You might never stop feeling sexually for him, or then it could happen in a few days. Only time will tell, your best chance is to be passive about it and find someone else. Finding someone might still not stop those feelings, though it can make u less obsessed about them.
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Re: How to stop sexual feelings for a straight guy

Unread postby TheBrunswickian » 22nd June, 2017, 12:59 am

Trust me when I say this is normal. We've all developed a crush and been really attracted to a straight guy we know. It happens. What you should do is just keep reminding yourself when you see him that it's not realistic and these feelings won't be acted on. Don't repress the fact you're attracted to him, acknowledge them and understand that its not a tenable outcome. Over time, the feelings will fade and you'll move on. It's shit to be attracted to someone you know won't reciprocate, but that's just part of growing up I guess
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Re: How to stop sexual feelings for a straight guy

Unread postby c70 » 22nd June, 2017, 11:45 pm

I have obsessed over many a straight guy :D. A few of my friends I have known for years are really hot but I would never tell that to their face because, well they know i'm gay and I know they are straight, and that would just be awkward. If you would rather just be friends with this guy then go for it. You will probably always have some level of attraction to him but I don't think that would prevent you two from just being friends even though it may make it a little harder.
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Re: How to stop sexual feelings for a straight guy

Unread postby Cobalt » 23rd June, 2017, 6:18 pm

Something I learned a very long time ago is that no matter how intense these things can feel, they can always be relieved by being realistic with yourself. Sexual attraction can cloud your judgement, but by either finding a more compatible person for your attraction or just simply jerking off a bit more frequently, you may be able to find a healthy way to make sure this doesn't infringe on your daily life. Best of luck! :keke:
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Re: How to stop sexual feelings for a straight guy

Unread postby unsureduck99 » 26th June, 2017, 5:07 pm

I would love to jerk off more but I am so so bored with porn, I literally wank once a week now, it's so bad. I think I've lost my sex drive, but not a sexual attraction towards him.

Funnily enough, I had this exact same situation twice at school. I am no longer sexually attracted to one, because I low-key hate him, another, because he has gone to a different school. I still think about them, but not as strong as this current guy.

I want to remain friends with him, because friends are hard to come by with me but it is so difficult when sexual feelings clash.

Obviously every time I see him I do immediately put it into my head that he is not sexually attracted to me. But even him slightly taking a peek at me makes my mind going which means nothing. I keep holding on to the fact that something could potentially happen based on his 'behaviours'. I am essentially over analysing and I cannot stop.

Even still, I'm trying to get attention at work by doing things such as walking past him. It doesn't help that I see him once a week because I want him more

In an honesty, I just hate the way I feel towards certain people. I want to be 'normal' still even though I have somewhat accepted myself. It fucking sucks....
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Re: How to stop sexual feelings for a straight guy

Unread postby boiii » 27th June, 2017, 3:04 am

Most of us here know the shit feeling of having a straight crush : /
but hey, eventually you'll find someone I'm sure :).
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Re: How to stop sexual feelings for a straight guy

Unread postby unsureduck99 » 7th August, 2017, 2:01 pm

Man, this feeling is still going on... I hate it. I can’t stop thinking about him, all I’m thinking is sex with him and it’s getting out of hand now. I don’t know whether I love him or not. I’ve forced myself to imagine an emotional connection with him but it’s not something I want. It purely just seems to be lust. In fact, I have tried multiple times to imagine a romantic side with boys but the ‘feeling’ isn’t there. I hate that I don’t know what I am dealing with at the minute.

I really want to remain his friend, I don’t want to fuck things over. He was a little touchy about 2 weeks ago which I’m pretty sure he was joking about but oh my god, I felt like he really wanted me in the way I want. I’m also constantly over-analysing his actions and behaviour towards me to interpret if he wants me or not. It’s ridiculous, I hate it.

This has happened before with a different guy but I absolutley hate him for no reason now (probs because I haven’t seen him in a long time) but that’s not what I want.

Sorry, I’m just trying to cram whatever’s in my head into this.
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Re: How to stop sexual feelings for a straight guy

Unread postby Kaspar » 7th August, 2017, 3:33 pm

Have you tried finding something that would occupy your mind? Getting over someone is hard, but possible if the brain suddenly realises that the person is not ideal. Try finding some hobby or occupation that would mean your brain stops thinking about him, even if just temporarily :P What I did when I had to get over someone was generally try to not look at their social media, spent less time doing activities, listening to music or thinking about anything that was connected in any way with him, load my brain with some video games, useless stuff, just to focus on something else. There really isn't any other way :(
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Re: How to stop sexual feelings for a straight guy

Unread postby unsureduck99 » 7th August, 2017, 6:47 pm

But he goes to my work. I see him once a week but if I suddenly ‘disconnect’ him it’s going be to a little strange and quite rude.

We sort of share mutual friends too so it’s a little awkward too.

I only got over the other guy because he moved to a different school and honestly, every time I see him, I actually don’t want to see him again. In fact, I somewhat hate him for not wanting me which makes no sense because he was obviously straight. He ain’t moving any time soon and neither am I.
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Re: How to stop sexual feelings for a straight guy

Unread postby Deither » 7th August, 2017, 10:59 pm

In my opinion if you want to stop thinking about something, you just need to start thinking about something else
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Re: How to stop sexual feelings for a straight guy

Unread postby Abdeltyf » 8th August, 2017, 2:35 pm

Make him reject you, it will give you a sense of closure. It wasn't going to work out in the first place. :P
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Re: How to stop sexual feelings for a straight guy

Unread postby unsureduck99 » 10th August, 2017, 4:31 pm

Never mind, I hate him now...
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Re: How to stop sexual feelings for a straight guy

Unread postby Lochlan » 10th August, 2017, 7:54 pm

unsureduck99 wrote:Never mind, I hate him now...

I mean, at least you've lost the crush :keke: Hopefully things aren't bad between you two, that's a bad work environment :err:
I'll find some real nice thing for my signature one day..
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Re: How to stop sexual feelings for a straight guy

Unread postby unsureduck99 » 26th September, 2017, 2:25 pm

Well, guess I’ve relapsed again.

Honestly, I think he may be starting to realise that I really like him (or love him? I don’t know, but that’s another topic). It just seems that our social interaction is becoming less and less. It seems he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore or anything. I have a feeling his peers may think that too and honestly, I’m not ready to be ‘outed’ at work yet. Or maybe this is all paranoia and overanalysing, I don’t know.

I did just want to be friends with him and nothing else, but this is hurting so fucking bad... Should I just stop talking to him? I’m sort of glad I’m considering this as I didn’t before but I honestly think that being ‘friends’ with this guy is just an excuse for me to want him even more. I would be quite sad because we did get along really well but I don’t know anymore..

But then I know as soon as he says hi to me or initiates a conversation, I’ll be wanting him again... I’ve already understood he is completely straight no matter what my overanalysing is saying but I just can’t.

Sorry I just wanted to dump my thoughts somewhere...
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