feeling lonely

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feeling lonely

Unread postby jish44 » 11th August, 2017, 3:44 am

[its 3 am while I'm typing this]

I haven't posted on here since I made an account so this is rly random but um, I'll introduce myself again. Im josh, I'm 16 and I'm severely lonely. I honestly don't have anywhere to go to talk about this and everyone here seems extremely nice so I thought maybe someone could have some advice. So anyway, i guess I'm not technically alone in this world. I have my family and at least 3 good friends who really do care about and love me. But for the past few months I've just felt extremely distant from everyone. I see others my age with what seems like countless friends, who are almost never alone and constantly hanging out with a friend or groups of people. And they all seem to have a ride or die ya know. Like they're always together and have so many memories together and they could just message them any time they needed anything and they'd be right there to help. But I don't feel like that with any of my friends. I'm almost never doing anything with anyone and my best best friend is sometimes very hard to talk to and she's practically impossible to make plans with. I know that it's mostly because we're both fairly busy people and our schedules don't rly coincide so that we have free time together but sometimes it almost feels like she's just too lazy to try and make plans with me and it hurts a lot. I constantly feel like I'm not good enough, and that the reason I don't have tons of friends is because there's something wrong with my personality or everyone I know secretly hates me and they all just keep it a secret. I honestly don't know how to get out of this mindset and I'm honestly terrified of what will happen if it gets worse. I'm rarely truly happy and I'm plagued by negative thoughts about 90% of the time. On top of all of this, add my social anxiety and body image issues and it makes for one extremely emotionally unstable person. I don't really know what I'm trying to get at here. Maybe it's a cry for help? Or maybe I want to know if anyone else has ever experienced these feelings? I'm not sure but anyway thanks for even reading all of this if you did and if you have any advice on how one could get out of this funk please let me know. (Btw sorry for the negative post I just didn't know where to turn to (also sorry if it was practically incoherent) )
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Re: feeling lonely

Unread postby Unseasoned Chicken » 11th August, 2017, 4:15 am

Sorry this is going to be short as I'm in a hurry but I will say right away there's nothing wrong with you. I really don't think there's something wrong with your personality! Everyone feels lonely at times even these people you see with "countless friends" so it's not abnormal that you're feeling this way. As for your situation, yes you could try make new friends but this is pretty difficult at your age where everyone has sort of established there friendship groups. So I recommend working on your relationship with your current best friend, it will take a lot of effort especially since she seems to be a little disinterested but I'm sure you guys can find time to hang out or even just talk to each other. Also you have us! everyone here is willing to talk to you whenever you feel lonely.
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Re: feeling lonely

Unread postby boiii » 11th August, 2017, 4:46 am

I get what you mean. You're typing this in the middle of the night. Does this mean that you don't always feel so stressed about this. If these are things you think about of certain nights and get a bit scared then we're pretty similar.
I'm glad that you decided to talk to someone about this. That really helps. It would've been worse if you didn't, then you'd feel more lonely.
What I try to do when I'm in your situation is to literally do anything else. Chatting, Listening to music, browsing 9gag, watching youtube video's, ...
The things shouldn't be thought about when stressed.

About your friends (I myself have 2-3). You've said it yourself, they love you and care about you. You're all a bit busy too. That can happen and then you guys chat a lot. Sometimes I find myself over-thinking about some hidden meanings in text messages when they aren't there. It is very possible that they are concentrating on something else or in a bad mood or ...

There's nothing wrong with you. Not everyone hates you. Stay calm friend :keke:

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Re: feeling lonely

Unread postby Lochlan » 11th August, 2017, 10:38 am

Hey Josh, I'd just like to reiterate what Kamiel and Ethan have said, this sort of funk will happen naturally throughout your life, but there are lots of things you can do to alleviate it! As Kamiel said, you can distract yourself until the funk passes and you are able to spend more time with your friends, or alternatively, try to get some of your other friends to have a day out with you! I doubt your friend is too lazy to make plans with you, but if they see that you are making plans with other people instead, they might be more willing to spend some time with you.

Make sure you are getting out regularly as well, go on walks and the like, it's very easy to go a little stir crazy over the summer when you aren't going to school every day. When you go back to school, you'll notice these feelings leave since you are going to be spending much more time with people.

All in all, don't let yourself get too down :keke: Try and organise some days out and if they fall through, they fall through. Your friend probably feels just as bad as you do - maybe have a word with them directly and see what they think :heart:
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Re: feeling lonely

Unread postby Dolly » 11th August, 2017, 10:55 am

Ethan and the others before me pretty much summarized everything I was going to say. In addition to taking in their previous replies, just know that you really are not alone. I hope you feel better and good luck. :heart:
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Re: feeling lonely

Unread postby gnossienne » 11th August, 2017, 10:24 pm

I can definitely relate to this. I go through waves of low self-confidence occasionally, and I notice that I get very lonely and I begin to think that everyone is annoyed by me (even my closest BFF of 8 years). Here are several thoughts that have helped me.

First of all, you have to realize that your friends do not hate you. If they hated you, they wouldn't talk to you at all! They befriended you for a reason - they like you AND your personality (nothing wrong with your personality!).

One thing that always gives me a confidence boost is dressing nicely. I notice that I get down when I'm at home for more than three days and I don't put any effort into my appearance.

Getting out of the house is very important! Even if you just go for a walk/jog, it gets you outside and in a different environment.

Please realize that you are worth so much more than how many friends you have.

And about those teens that seem to have so many friends, I guarantee that most of their "friends" barely know them at all. It's much better to have a few close friends that 25 friends who are all surface level. And, on top of that, I guarantee that they sometimes feel as though their "friends" hate them too. True friends will stand by you. Just a suggestion, but you could try opening up to one of your friends about your loneliness. They care a lot more than you might think.

Hope this helps. :)
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