Some issues

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Some issues

Unread postby Rwinter96 » 13th August, 2017, 8:34 pm

I am very paranoid when I talk to guys I like, I always feel like if they don't instantly reply they don't want to talk to me. I also want to have at least a small conversation every day and I know that isn't for everyone. Am I in the wrong here and how do I make myself trust guys enough to know they aren't just ignoring me when I don't get a reply for hours?
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Re: Some issues

Unread postby Pity » 13th August, 2017, 11:48 pm

I cannot provide advice since I am the same way, so let me know if you find anything that works! :heart:
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Re: Some issues

Unread postby Kaspar » 14th August, 2017, 3:25 am

Ryan honey, what you're doing is you're overthinking simple things like these and putting yourself down because of it. Think about how it looks like from the other side - do you always reply to all the messages instantly? :P You have some problems with self-esteem and this is showing here - you think that it's because there is something wrong with you, and it's not true!
When guys ignore you and don't answer for real - there is no problem with it either. Looks like it just wasn't meant to be. Many people do that, and being rejected happened to me, to most of us here.
But the most important thing - you have to try and try once again. Because at last, you will find the person that you can click with. :)
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Re: Some issues

Unread postby Rwinter96 » 14th August, 2017, 10:48 am

Kaspar wrote:Ryan honey, what you're doing is you're overthinking simple things like these and putting yourself down because of it. Think about how it looks like from the other side - do you always reply to all the messages instantly? :P


Yeah, I do for the most part because I know otherwise I will forget to do so. I do overthink everything, this is a character flaw I am fully aware of :(
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Re: Some issues

Unread postby c70 » 14th August, 2017, 1:03 pm

Ryan, its perfectly normal to be a little paranoid that you are being ignored. I do it all the time. And, sometimes I wish that instead of leaving me on "read" that people would tell me they can't talk right now, or that they don't want to talk. But, what we both have to realize is, not a lot of people respond instantly for a variety of reasons that have nothing to do with us. You will click with someone soon and then all of the waiting will have been worth it :) :hug:
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Re: Some issues

Unread postby Abdeltyf » 14th August, 2017, 1:50 pm

Rwinter96 wrote:I am very paranoid when I talk to guys I like, I always feel like if they don't instantly reply they don't want to talk to me. I also want to have at least a small conversation every day and I know that isn't for everyone. Am I in the wrong here and how do I make myself trust guys enough to know they aren't just ignoring me when I don't get a reply for hours?

Same, Ryan
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Re: Some issues

Unread postby Unseasoned Chicken » 15th August, 2017, 6:25 am

I actually don't think it is is paranoia and its a very valid concern to have. Perhaps expecting a reply instantly is a bit extreme but a relatively quick reply (within 30 minutes) should be expected if the person is interested in you. The way we are these days everyone has a phone on them and checks it often, even if I'm busy doing something I still see a message and if it is important or I care enough about the person I'll take time to reply otherwise I just ignore, I feel like this applies to most people. Obviously there are circumstances where people genuinely can't reply but if it is a regular occurrence then I believe its a fair indicator of a lack of interest.
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