My Best friend is sort of a homophobe

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My Best friend is sort of a homophobe

Unread postby WhatIsYourQuest » 15th August, 2017, 5:40 am

If it was just a friend I would cut ties with him, but he's been my Best friend for 6 years and we have never had an argument. I used to go to the same school as him but was horribly bullied by my 2 best friends at the time and as they were quite popular no one would talk to me except my now best friend who was in the year above. We talk to each other every night on the Xbox as we don't go to the same school. Luckily he isn't a full on bigot but he doesn't agree with homosexuality but it is hard to talk to him without making it obvious that I'm gay. He has told me that it wouldn't stop being friends with some one because of their sexuality. Help
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Re: My Best friend is sort of a homophobe

Unread postby Unseasoned Chicken » 15th August, 2017, 6:10 am

First of all it is so sad to hear you were bullied, it is so horrible the way others treat each other particularly in schools :(
As for your situation I actually think he is not a homophobe but rather just a typical 15 year old boy who doesn't understand homosexuality so follows societies expectations of condemning it. The fact he has said that he would continue being friends with someone if he found out they were gay is a really good sign and I really think if you started to have subtle conversations about homosexuality and insert your opinions you will probably be able to help him be more understanding. :hug:
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Re: My Best friend is sort of a homophobe

Unread postby WhatIsYourQuest » 15th August, 2017, 6:18 am

Ethán wrote:First of all it is so sad to hear you were bullied, it is so horrible the way others treat each other particularly in schools :(
As for your situation I actually think he is not a homophobe but rather just a typical 15 year old boy who doesn't understand homosexuality so follows societies expectations of condemning it. The fact he has said that he would continue being friends with someone if he found out they were gay is a really good sign and I really think if you started to have subtle conversations about homosexuality and insert your opinions you will probably be able to help him be more understanding. :hug:


Thank You for your advice.
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Re: My Best friend is sort of a homophobe

Unread postby Scorpius X-1 » 15th August, 2017, 7:44 am

He doesn't seem like a true homophobe. Maybe if he knows you longer and you get boyfriends, he'll come to understand.
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Re: My Best friend is sort of a homophobe

Unread postby Pity » 15th August, 2017, 2:59 pm

Like the others have said, he is probably just acting like a normal, tough-guy teenager. It is just something you will have to live with until you decide if you want to come out to him as gay. After all, he did say he would still be friends with someone even if they were not heterosexual. Good luck. :)
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Re: My Best friend is sort of a homophobe

Unread postby Abdeltyf » 16th August, 2017, 5:58 am

He seems like a person you can trust. You shouldn't torture yourself over the past or because of fear that he will not accept you. Homosexuality can be a bit hard for some people to accept and understand; I know for a fact that people who were very close to me learned to accept homosexuality and not judge someone based on their sexual orientation, but rather on their actions only. You actually can be a very good influence for him, as he will be educated more on the subject. If you really believe that he is your best friend and that you are his, then he shouldn't hate you or cut ties with you. Arguments may occur along the way, but if you believe in him enough, you shouldn't be afraid. You should rather be glad you have someone to turn to, therefore you cannot avoid sharing that part of you with him anyways.
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Re: My Best friend is sort of a homophobe

Unread postby (un)creative » 16th August, 2017, 3:53 pm

He just seems to act like nearly everyone in his age. I myself was like that until the age of 14. Now I'm not really in the position anymore to be homophobic in any way :rofl2:
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Re: My Best friend is sort of a homophobe

Unread postby c70 » 16th August, 2017, 4:42 pm

Im sorry you were bullied in the past. I know its extremely rough and degrading. I can almost completely relate to you with your best friend situation though. My Best friend dislikes gay expression (like Pride or Rainbow Flags) He is also completely against Gay Marriage. But when I came out to him (and yes it was before I knew how against LGBT+ expression he is) he said it wouldn't judge me. And we are still good friends. Nothing really changed from the way it was before.

I think that he would accept you. He basically said that it wouldn't impact a friendship. But if he is a good friend to you. He will see your views and take your opinions into account and not just rely his own.

But only come out to him if you feel comfortable.
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