An Old 'Friend'

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An Old 'Friend'

Unread postby joshe » 30th August, 2017, 3:40 pm

Hey GTF,

I used to be friends with this girl who was the first person I ever came out to (she was a lesbian). We had a big argument and I didn't speak to her for a while, I hadn't spoke to her for about 3 months and this morning, out of blue, she messages my sister with screenshots of our conversations and tells her I'm gay. My sister wasn't a problem but I messaged her asking 'wtf why did you do that?'. She replied telling me that this is just the start and that they're are more people she is planning on telling.
What should I do? I'm completely closeted apart from a few friends ( and now my sister :grumpy: ).
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Re: An Old 'Friend'

Unread postby Sokol » 30th August, 2017, 3:46 pm

I'm sorry that you're going through this, this should be very stressful. I think you should try to figure out why she is actually doing this and try to make up with her. There should be a reason behind this and the key to making sure she stops is probably figuring out why.
Maybe she's upset about something you did in the past and wants to take revenge in some way, so you have to find out why she did it and work your way from there.
This really is a stressful situation to be in, I've had people threaten me like that aswell but no one actually went through with it, so I just hope she won't go on with it. Keep us updated on what happens so we can help!
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Re: An Old 'Friend'

Unread postby Pity » 30th August, 2017, 9:02 pm

You have two options, really: kiss up to her and do whatever she wants or let her out you. I am sorry you have to go through this; she is a terrible person.
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Re: An Old 'Friend'

Unread postby CheeseSlice » 31st August, 2017, 12:06 am

That is actually sexual harassment. If it spreads to school, you could charge her and she'd face legal consequences. I think you should file a sexual harassment report.
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Re: An Old 'Friend'

Unread postby joshe » 31st August, 2017, 7:39 am

Sokol wrote:I'm sorry that you're going through this, this should be very stressful. I think you should try to figure out why she is actually doing this and try to make up with her. There should be a reason behind this and the key to making sure she stops is probably figuring out why.
Maybe she's upset about something you did in the past and wants to take revenge in some way, so you have to find out why she did it and work your way from there.
This really is a stressful situation to be in, I've had people threaten me like that aswell but no one actually went through with it, so I just hope she won't go on with it. Keep us updated on what happens so we can help!

The reason she is upset with me is because we had an argument about 3 months ago, it was because she 'found out' I had other friends that I was talking to and she didn't want them to become my 'bestfriend' because she was my 'bestfriend' (she wasn't) and didn't want anyone else to replace her, even though she had lots of other people who she spoke to and who she called her 'bestfriends'. She was just so childish I just blocked her and told her to never speak to me again. So I think that is why she wants to get her revenge. It's so careless that she is doing this because I have plenty of shit I could tell people about her anyway.
Pity wrote:You have two options, really: kiss up to her and do whatever she wants or let her out you. I am sorry you have to go through this; she is a terrible person.

No way am I kissing up to that sociopath, but I don't want to be outed either. I just don't know what to do anymore.
CheeseSlice wrote:That is actually sexual harassment. If it spreads to school, you could charge her and she'd face legal consequences. I think you should file a sexual harassment report.

I've never heard that before. That might be the case where you live but not where I live. Thanks anyway.

Thank you to all three that replied, I really appreciate your help :)
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Re: An Old 'Friend'

Unread postby CheeseSlice » 31st August, 2017, 9:29 am

CheeseSlice wrote:That is actually sexual harassment. If it spreads to school, you could charge her and she'd face legal consequences. I think you should file a sexual harassment report.

I've never heard that before. That might be the case where you live but not where I live. Thanks anyway.

Thank you to all three that replied, I really appreciate your help :)[/quote]
Not to be creepy, but where do you live?
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Re: An Old 'Friend'

Unread postby (un)creative » 31st August, 2017, 10:38 am

WTF? That's intimidation and illegal. You might consider asking a lawyer to send her a letter. (People usually get pretty scared when they receive letters from lawyers. Whenever my father doesn't pay his alimony, he receives such a letter... works great ;) ) . Also that's a pretty dick move and something's definitely wrong with her... I'm really sorry that you have to go through something like that.
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Re: An Old 'Friend'

Unread postby Tim. » 31st August, 2017, 10:49 am

Honestly there is not a whole lot that can be done. If she really wants to out you then she obviously has the material to do so. Your only real options beyond trying to talk her out of it are going to a lawyer which depending on your age may prove to be difficult without telling an adult and likely expensive. If she goes to the same school I would recommend going to your principal. Failing that An option that may be better than a lawyer is just going on to a police station and asking for advice. Depending on your local lawyer though they may just fob you off saying there is nothing you can do. Obviously you want to avoid been outed to as many people as possible, but perhaps should consider getting your parents involved. Threats from an adult will likely be a much better deterrent than coming from yourself.
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Re: An Old 'Friend'

Unread postby Confuzzled.com » 31st August, 2017, 11:50 am

I hope it doesn't come out but If it does, take control of the situation. People probably know you both fell out over pettiness and you can use that to argue that she's just grabbing attention and wants revenge because you couldn't be her 'best friend'. People probably know what she's like and will see your point of view as a victim of pointless harassment. Delete all ur messages with her and say she's photoshopped it all, not hard these days. Use the people that do know to back u up to. That should help your case.

Good luck with it.
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Re: An Old 'Friend'

Unread postby joshe » 31st August, 2017, 1:32 pm

CheeseSlice wrote:
CheeseSlice wrote:That is actually sexual harassment. If it spreads to school, you could charge her and she'd face legal consequences. I think you should file a sexual harassment report.

I've never heard that before. That might be the case where you live but not where I live. Thanks anyway.

Thank you to all three that replied, I really appreciate your help :)

Not to be creepy, but where do you live?[/quote]
I live in the UK
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Re: An Old 'Friend'

Unread postby Powerdwarf » 31st August, 2017, 2:15 pm

As an absolute last resort you could try bluffing her. If she thinks she can't do any damage by outing you then she may not bother.
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Re: An Old 'Friend'

Unread postby CheeseSlice » 3rd September, 2017, 4:28 pm

joshe wrote:
CheeseSlice wrote:
CheeseSlice wrote:That is actually sexual harassment. If it spreads to school, you could charge her and she'd face legal consequences. I think you should file a sexual harassment report.

I've never heard that before. That might be the case where you live but not where I live. Thanks anyway.

Thank you to all three that replied, I really appreciate your help :)

Not to be creepy, but where do you live?

I live in the UK[/quote]
oh. Idk then.
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