Coming out to Christian parents...

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Coming out to Christian parents...

Unread postby hehewinter » 14th September, 2017, 11:24 am

Hi all! I am going you guys could help me with ideas to come out to my Christian af parents.
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Re: Coming out to Christian parents...

Unread postby Dolly » 14th September, 2017, 11:48 am

A text message might be easiest, less awkward, and less shocking way to come out to evangelical parents. I think telling them in person may not give them enough time to process it in a calm manner.
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Re: Coming out to Christian parents...

Unread postby JonathanT88 » 14th September, 2017, 11:52 am

Pity wrote:A text message might be easiest, less awkward, and less shocking way to come out to evangelical parents. I think telling them in person may not give them enough time to process it in a calm manner.


Alternatively, they might take offence to being told something so important in such an impersonal way by their son, who I assume they hold dear. A text makes me think you're running away from the consequences of letting them know, rather than confronting the issue head-on (and the ability to do which seems, to me, to be one of the main reasons for coming out).

My advice is this: if you're going to tell them, tell them directly and just be prepared for an awkward conversation. But if you're young, and know they will react negatively/cause you grief because of your homosexuality, then I see no significant advantages in coming out now. For your own comfort and happiness, it's often best some things are kept secret while you're living with your parents.

Perhaps it would help if you told us why you feel the time is now, and how you think they'd react.
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Re: Coming out to Christian parents...

Unread postby Dua Lipa » 14th September, 2017, 6:29 pm

I think a letter might be the best compromise between Jonathan and Pity's advice, it gives them time to react and take it all in but it also comes across as personal and formal unlike a text.
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Re: Coming out to Christian parents...

Unread postby c70 » 15th September, 2017, 12:30 am

I always like to say, only come out if your ready and if you have support :) But i like the letter idea. Its formal, and would give your parents time to formulate a response. But a Text could be well thought out and doesn't have to be 2 lines. You can make it as long as you want.

Good luck, let us know how it goes.
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Re: Coming out to Christian parents...

Unread postby Wayde » 16th September, 2017, 2:21 pm

Speaking from experience, if you think your parents will be extremely negative about it, wait until you're on your own. That might not be what you want to hear, but if the choice is between staying in the closet and getting kicked out, I'd choose closet until you're off at college. Trust me. Unless you want to deal with your parents rejecting it, breathing down your neck about it, threatening shock conversion therapy and conversion therapy boarding schools unless you change your mind, installing software on your phone and computer so they know what you are doing at all times, and just outright being batshit crazy. The kicker is, thats what happened to me, and I didn't even choose to come out. They violated my privacy and found out by reading my private journal.

That said, it depends on what type of Christians your parents are and their personal opinions on gays and homosexuality. There are the Christians who don't think being gay is a big deal or a problem (that would be me--and, surprisingly, a lot of my friends and friends' families are this way), and then there are the 'burn them in Hell' and "I would kick out and disown a gay child" kind of christians. If they are the friendlier variety, sweet! Find a way to bring it up sensitively and see how it goes. If they are the second? Wait until college.
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