"I love you" among guy friends

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"I love you" among guy friends

Unread postby CheeseSlice » 15th September, 2017, 12:03 am

I've been wondering for a while. Is it weird or "gay" for a guy to tell his guy friend he loves them? This part is guyA (no specified sexuality) to guy B(completely straight).
GuyA, while having a fun time (not drunk, high, or sexual), tells GuyB, "I love you, man." What is GuyB thinking? What is his reaction? Is this normal? Is this weird? Does it make GuyA look weird?

Here's a more personal scenario. My friend (presumably 100% straight) knows I am bi and totally supports it. I've told him I had a crush on him and he said he just wants to be friends. Here's my other question. I love him as a brother, that much is true, so sometimes I say "I love you..." But then I'm afraid he'll think of the mixed interests so I follow with "No homo.", which I really hate but feel it's best in this situation. What do you guys think? Could I leave out the no homo? Would he be able to discern how I really mean it?
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Re: "I love you" among guy friends

Unread postby Dolly » 15th September, 2017, 12:24 am

I wouldn't say it at all, especially if he knows you're bi, but if you still insist, keep the "no homo"
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Re: "I love you" among guy friends

Unread postby c70 » 15th September, 2017, 12:26 am

Hi Dan!

Guys telling other guys they love them as sort of a sign of appreciation is good, like friendship. There is nothing weird or embarrassing about it to me when two straight guys do it, But people may have different opinions if one of the guys is gay, bi. or has admitted to liking the other person romantically. In your situation, considering that you expressed your feelings to your friend when you told him you had a crush on him. It might make him uncomfortable if you say "I love you" even if you just mean the kind and appreciative way. He may take it the wrong way. You could always talk to him about it. To make sure you are both on the same page. And when I say "I love you" I mean it in a friendly way only. You shouldn't have to say it at all... but unfortunately i think its best in this case if you want to continue saying it.

I have had straight crushes too but I have never been able to actually tell my straight friend i had feelings for him, so bravo to you. :)

Saying "No Homo" makes you feel uncomfortable it sees aswell. So i would stay away from that.
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Re: "I love you" among guy friends

Unread postby BJvandermeer » 17th September, 2017, 4:44 pm

My straight friend and I say "I love you" to each other all the time. He doesn't know I'm gay and he started it. It surprised me at first, but it also made me happy, because I really liked him. I also knew he didn't mean it in a romantic way, but you can't help being excited when your crush tells you they love you. Maybe it's less awkward if you do it in a different language? Sometimes he says "aishiteru" or "daisuki". Both are Japanese for "I love you". I think it's easier to do it in a language other than your mother tongue. Our native language is Dutch, so even saying "I love you" is way easier than saying it in Dutch.
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Re: "I love you" among guy friends

Unread postby Kaspar » 17th September, 2017, 5:56 pm

We do say I love you among some of my friends in a casual way quite often actually :P Of course everyone assumes everyone else is straight (heee :lol: ), so they are comfortable with using it in a joking manner.
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Re: "I love you" among guy friends

Unread postby Tim. » 18th September, 2017, 5:58 am

I guess it depends on the context. But I can't say it's ever said among my guy friends.
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Re: "I love you" among guy friends

Unread postby Anonymous Boy » 18th September, 2017, 8:03 am

BJvandermeer wrote:My straight friend and I say "I love you" to each other all the time. He doesn't know I'm gay and he started it. It surprised me at first, but it also made me happy, because I really liked him. I also knew he didn't mean it in a romantic way, but you can't help being excited when your crush tells you they love you. Maybe it's less awkward if you do it in a different language? Sometimes he says "aishiteru" or "daisuki". Both are Japanese for "I love you". I think it's easier to do it in a language other than your mother tongue. Our native language is Dutch, so even saying "I love you" is way easier than saying it in Dutch.

Aww :3

I totally agree about Dutch — it's way easier to talk about your feelings in English. I was born in the Netherlands, but only ever managed to have a relationship with guys from English-speaking countries, partly due to this reason. I feel like it may be a problem specific to Dutch, though, rather than a general problem with speaking in one's native language; I hear Dutch people use English words in the middle of Dutch sentences all the time because there just isn't a Dutch word that's really appropriate to the situation. It used to bug me, but I get how they feel.
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Re: "I love you" among guy friends

Unread postby BJvandermeer » 18th September, 2017, 8:19 am

Anonymous Boy wrote:
BJvandermeer wrote:My straight friend and I say "I love you" to each other all the time. He doesn't know I'm gay and he started it. It surprised me at first, but it also made me happy, because I really liked him. I also knew he didn't mean it in a romantic way, but you can't help being excited when your crush tells you they love you. Maybe it's less awkward if you do it in a different language? Sometimes he says "aishiteru" or "daisuki". Both are Japanese for "I love you". I think it's easier to do it in a language other than your mother tongue. Our native language is Dutch, so even saying "I love you" is way easier than saying it in Dutch.

Aww :3

I totally agree about Dutch — it's way easier to talk about your feelings in English. I was born in the Netherlands, but only ever managed to have a relationship with guys from English-speaking countries, partly due to this reason. I feel like it may be a problem specific to Dutch, though, rather than a general problem with speaking in one's native language; I hear Dutch people use English words in the middle of Dutch sentences all the time because there just isn't a Dutch word that's really appropriate to the situation. It used to bug me, but I get how they feel.


That's definitely true. Saying "ik houd van jou" sounds way too serious in most situations. It's what you'd say when you propose to someone.

I never stopped to consider that it might just be a Dutch problem. You're probably right haha. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
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Re: "I love you" among guy friends

Unread postby CheeseSlice » 22nd January, 2018, 9:53 pm

I see that my absence in the past few months have allowed this thread to become quite interesting xD
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Re: "I love you" among guy friends

Unread postby Rwinter96 » 30th January, 2018, 10:56 pm

I totally want more straight guys to say "I love you" to each other. If women can do it, why can't we? Things that aren't seen as stereotypically masculine need to be normalised more within groups that contain more than just gay men, since the toxic masculinity existent within our community (both straight and not-straight men) destroys everything and means so many men can't say what they actually want to in certain scenarios (part of the reason why suicide is the biggest killer of men under 35, but that's another debate for a different day)
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Re: "I love you" among guy friends

Unread postby Hierax » 31st January, 2018, 8:36 am

I tell my guy friends I love them pretty often (and they're straight). Nothing weird about it.
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Re: "I love you" among guy friends

Unread postby TheBrunswickian » 31st January, 2018, 9:02 am

I tell legit all my straight friends that I love them. They're not weirded out by it.
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Re: "I love you" among guy friends

Unread postby TheHalfrican » 26th February, 2018, 3:01 pm

All of my friends including the straight ones know I'm gay, and I'm pretty 50/50 with the gender ratio in friends, but I still greet all of them with a hug and say goodbye along with an "I love you." But my school is pretty devoid of homophobia so I'm not sure if my answer counts.
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Re: "I love you" among guy friends

Unread postby Adyuto » 26th February, 2018, 9:21 pm

Last year I met the best friends in my life thus-far. The relationship between all of us developed into what could only be described as practically familial. What is amazing about our group is its ethnic and religious diversity. We're composed of mormons, catholics, a muslim, a protestant, an atheist, and a Quaker . They are one of the few people who know of my conflicted sexuality. When they first got an indication that I might not be heterosexual, I told them that I was still questioning. They accepted me nonetheless. In fact, two of the males asked me which one of the was more attractive. I replied that the nearby tree was the most attractive thing in front of me. Two months later, we all tell each other that we love each other all the time and that we should all marry each other. We all do this for jokes. I think the point I'm trying to make is that different people express platonic love in different ways, ignoring the confusion it may cause for a certain sexual orientation.
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Re: "I love you" among guy friends

Unread postby Adyuto » 26th February, 2018, 9:21 pm

Last year I met the best friends in my life thus-far. The relationship between all of us developed into what could only be described as practically familial. What is amazing about our group is its ethnic and religious diversity. We're composed of mormons, catholics, a muslim, a protestant, an atheist, and a Quaker . They are one of the few people who know of my conflicted sexuality. When they first got an indication that I might not be heterosexual, I told them that I was still questioning. They accepted me nonetheless. In fact, two of the males asked me which one of the was more attractive. I replied that the nearby tree was the most attractive thing in front of me. Two months later, we all tell each other that we love each other all the time and that we should all marry each other. We all do this for jokes. I think the point I'm trying to make is that different people express platonic love in different ways, ignoring the confusion it may cause for a certain sexual orientation.
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Re: "I love you" among guy friends

Unread postby CheeseSlice » 1st March, 2018, 12:36 am

Adyuto wrote:Last year I met the best friends in my life thus-far. The relationship between all of us developed into what could only be described as practically familial. What is amazing about our group is its ethnic and religious diversity. We're composed of mormons, catholics, a muslim, a protestant, an atheist, and a Quaker . They are one of the few people who know of my conflicted sexuality. When they first got an indication that I might not be heterosexual, I told them that I was still questioning. They accepted me nonetheless. In fact, two of the males asked me which one of the was more attractive. I replied that the nearby tree was the most attractive thing in front of me. Two months later, we all tell each other that we love each other all the time and that we should all marry each other. We all do this for jokes. I think the point I'm trying to make is that different people express platonic love in different ways, ignoring the confusion it may cause for a certain sexual orientation.

That's awesome.
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Re: "I love you" among guy friends

Unread postby Adyuto » 1st March, 2018, 2:39 pm

CheeseSlice wrote:
Adyuto wrote:Last year I met the best friends in my life thus-far. The relationship between all of us developed into what could only be described as practically familial. What is amazing about our group is its ethnic and religious diversity. We're composed of mormons, catholics, a muslim, a protestant, an atheist, and a Quaker . They are one of the few people who know of my conflicted sexuality. When they first got an indication that I might not be heterosexual, I told them that I was still questioning. They accepted me nonetheless. In fact, two of the males asked me which one of the was more attractive. I replied that the nearby tree was the most attractive thing in front of me. Two months later, we all tell each other that we love each other all the time and that we should all marry each other. We all do this for jokes. I think the point I'm trying to make is that different people express platonic love in different ways, ignoring the confusion it may cause for a certain sexual orientation.

That's awesome.


Thanks, I hope it helps.
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