I don't want to be gay.

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I don't want to be gay.

Unread postby ImStruggling » 14th February, 2018, 7:24 am

"people choose to be gay once they've reached the lowest point in their lives"

Hey guys, I'll try to keep this quick.

My parent's are extremely religious (Islamic) and are extremely homophobic, I've known I was gay since I was like 12 or something idk and I haven't seen any changes/ have never been attracted to any females, I'm only 15 rn.

I feel like I've been cursed with being gay, I never wanted this, I just wanted to make my parents happy, as they've gone through so much to move from a 3rd world country to Australia for us to have good lives, a good job, raise a family etc. My parents have already shown how much they despise gay people (hence the quote at the top) and I feel like such a disappointment to the family as they keep bringing up "all gay people go to hell" and "they chose this life and they'll pay for it" or some shit idk

Basically I have no choice but to come out someday, and the day I do they'll probably disown me or something idek. what should I do? I never wanted this, I never wanted to be gay, I just want a normal life, why would god make a Muslim gay if he hated Muslims??_?$?

k I'm rambling too much, any help? Thanks
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Re: I don't want to be gay.

Unread postby Lochlan » 14th February, 2018, 7:45 am

In a position like yours, the best thing you can do is only come out once you no longer rely on your parents, that way you can't be abandoned with nowhere to go if the situation is exceptionally dire. When you come out, it's going to be their choice if they stand by their religious beliefs or choose to accept you for who you are.

Never forget that for as much as they've helped you, they don't "deserve" a straight child. If you're gay and they don't accept it, don't get down on yourself feeling as though you owe them something.

When you come out though, try to explain it in a way they'll understand, your situation is really horrible dude, I hope stuff goes well for you.
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Re: I don't want to be gay.

Unread postby Hierax » 14th February, 2018, 8:54 am

Lochlan is right.

I've been in the exact same situation as you, but I think my parents were just a tad more supportive than yours.
My parents are Islamic and have expressed their hatred towards gays multiple times. Last year, on a drunk night, I came out to them. I was 16 and they just kept telling me it was a phase etc, but my mom did say that I'll always be her son no matter what.
We haven't talked about it since that day, though.

If I could, I would re-do that day and not tell them, because I feel like the atmosphere around the house has changed, but that could also just be me.
If I were you, I would wait 'till you leave the house and can live an independent life, like Lochlan said.

If you ever need help, or you need to talk someone who's gone/going through the same stuff, you can always PM me.
Best of luck!
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Re: I don't want to be gay.

Unread postby Dolly » 14th February, 2018, 10:52 am

Sorry to hear this. The others provided great advice; wait until you’re independent. Unfortunately, there’s no way to change this part of you. Best wishes. :heart:
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Re: I don't want to be gay.

Unread postby Hyacinth » 14th February, 2018, 10:00 pm

When it comes to your parents' attitude, I can understand your position. Religious people in general tend to be homophobic. I advise you don't come out to them until you become financially independent.

When it comes to your religion, people handle this problem in various ways. I, for instance, completely abandoned my Roman Catholicism and believe in a higher force in my own way. You are completely free to analyse all ways in which your religion could be reconciled with your sexuality and pick one that makes you feel the best.

When it comes to your sexuality, there have been no scientifically proven ways to "unbecome" gay. Most institutes which do that are owned by religious groups and with such obvious biases have no credibility. I advise you accept yourself and do whatever makes you feel good.

If you need to talk, just PM me. I'll be happy to help you in any ways I can.
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